Here we are, at the end of the school year, and everyone will be enjoying their summer vacation and getting ready to start back for the next year of school. However, this is the year that my life will change dramatically. Our summer will be enjoyable, of course, and my daughter will not be the wiser, but I will be over here trying to control my anxiety and all the thoughts that have been running through my head since the day I signed her up for this thing they call PreK.
When I was growing up, we didn’t have PreK. We had kindergarten, and I vividly remember not wanting to go into the class and watching my mother walk away, and the tears rolling down my face. Of course, after a while, I adjusted, but even now all these years later, I can still remember and feel that anguish. I did not have any plans for enrolling my daughter In Pre-K, but the more people I talk to, especially educators, highly recommend it. The main reason is that kindergartners are now actually reading by the end of their kindergarten year. If I choose to keep my daughter home, there is the chance she could fall behind the other children. I do not believe that would be the case, but I do not want to risk it, and it would be selfish on my part to not go with the flow.
Also, there is another huge reason I believe my daughter needs to go. She is so smart and I have been told by my neighbor (who is also a kindergarten teacher) that she displays leadership skills and would benefit from PreK. My daughter is ready, especially for the academic portion. The part I am worried about, though, is the separation aspect. She and I are extremely close, and I do not want her to feel that same anguish that I felt so many years ago. I am sure this is what 99% of moms feel when it comes time to decide whether to enroll their little one in PreK. Or that is what I keep telling myself. I’m not the only mom that literally wants to spend each day outside in the hallway or, at best, in the parking lot.
Since she turned 3, I have put her in Tumble and Cheer. The very first day, she waved at me and went right in without hesitation. I was shocked, but I was proud to see her show such independence. She’s also played toddler soccer for two seasons, and both of these activities have given her a chance to interact with other children and adults so I have actually been preparing her as I continue to prepare myself.
My daughter is my only child, she is the love of my life, and I want what is best for her at all times. The best I can do is pray and turn it over to God and trust that he will guide me, guide her. I can and will be able to do this. Time marches on, it waits for no one, and now our time is almost here. We will begin this new chapter in our lives. I worked so hard and waited so long for her arrival into this world, into my life and it just wasn’t long enough. I want more time, I need more time, but as each week passes, I hear her talk about her school, and just the other day she said “Mom (which usually it’s Mommy) when do I start school?” I was taken aback for just a moment, then I answered her and said “in August honey, very very soon.”
So to all the moms that are in this same situation the summer before PreK, know you’re not alone. I am right there with you, and I’ll say an extra prayer for myself and for you.
