Why Am I More Nervous to Announce We’re Expecting a Third?

I grew up as the oldest of 4 children. Both of my parents are one of four children in their families and my husband also comes from a family of 4. While the median number of children per household in the US is about 2 kids, it seemed our families were not strangers to slightly larger families.

By this point in our lives, we already had two children, a girl and a boy. We also already experienced a miscarriage between the two children. We never specifically spoke about a final number of children we’d like to have, and yet when we found out we were expecting a third, I was nervous to tell our families.

Was it because we had a miscarriage in the past already and were skeptical of the potential outcome for this pregnancy also? It’s hard to feel relaxed and carefree during pregnancy after experiencing the loss of one in the past.

Was it because we had two children already? The majority of hotel rooms are set up to accommodate 4 people unless you book a suite or adjoining rooms. Is it the known added expense to each family vacation we take from now on?

Was it because we already had a girl and a boy? Should we stop while we are ahead? No reason to try for the other gender if we’ve already got one of each. But, we never cared about the gender of our babies. In fact, we didn’t even find out until birth. But somehow there is a large emphasis placed on this.

Was it because the age gap between our kids is now getting shorter? Should we slow our roll a bit and enjoy the time with each kid a bit more?

Is it because being a two-parent household, we will officially be outnumbered? I feel like I’m outnumbered already now as a stay-at-home parent to two kids, but am I being naïve?

Is it in anticipation of the comments we’ll receive? As if it doesn’t sometimes happen already with two young children, but I’ve heard from so many with larger families the comments of “having your hands full.”

Maybe it’s because we’re officially entering “slightly larger family size territory.” Whatever the reason, I was more nervous to announce we were expecting a third child than when we announced the other two pregnancies prior. And while both of our families are excited, I’m still a little nervous about the anticipated changes to come.

Emily Miller
Emily is a dual citizen, residing in Lafayette, Louisiana, yet a temporary visitor in her other residency of Germany. She is a wife of four years and full time working mother to two kids: a 2.5 year old girl (C) and 5 month old boy (H). Having graduated from LSU with her bachelors, she continued her education by getting her Masters in Business Administration from UL. Working in management in retail, her schedule frequently varies and consists of unusual hours, but she embraces that as extra time with her children. While off the clock, Emily pours herself a cup of decaf coffee, plays in a room filled with toddler toys, teaches her children German, and attempts to be a scrunchy Montessori inspired mama with goals of raising independent children.


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