It’s all normal. Everything that runs through your head is normal.
Let me start this out by saying that I have that disorder where my hand flies up every single time anyone asks for a volunteer, favor, pot of food, carpool help, babysitter, a million dollars, etc…
I was asked if I would be interested in writing a guest post for a website. My first thought was, “Ok, cool! A bunch of funny and smart moms talking in a non-judgement zone, IN!” I asked what the requirements were and get tunnel vision when it says 400 words minimum. Flash back to high school when I didn’t read the required book and had to fill 90% of my story with “filler” words … and then I realize that I don’t even really know what 400 words look like. Is it one good paragraph? Is it 4 pages of double spaced college rule loose leaf? Do I need an MLA heading? This is a bit overwhelming since I’m used to a two sentence max status update on Facebook, but I figure I’ll just note my day as it goes and add whatever “filler” words are needed later on (BOOM 150 words on the intro – 250 left) …
Oh, before my day starts, quick question. My husband does laundry, like all of it all the time. Yes, that’s amazing, but trust me, I do a lot of things around the house that aren’t normally handled by the typical hot wife. Anyway, he has no idea how much some of my workout clothes cost. He either saves them in one of my kids closets (I have 5 kids so it’s not that time efficient to check every single place in every single closet), or forgets where he saved them, or saves them in the wrong place in my closet. I can NEVER find anything. Should I tell him how much some of this stuff costs so he pays more attention, or do I leave him clueless as to how much I spend on yoga pants?
Ok, just starting this post after I got off of work. My oldest daughter has a make-up soccer game for school and it is freezing outside. One of the moms is working the gate and it is $5/adult and $1/student to get into the game. I asked a group of moms if this works the same way as The Keg did where if you go early enough you get in free. I also already told them not to check my Starbucks cup because it would not be tea in there. Anyway, after a few responses I tell them that, “I’m trying to make $1.00 out of $0.15,” (throwback reference to Master P). Now that I have driven to the wrong field in the wrong city, I really should be asking if there is a discount given for not getting there on time and / or not attending the whole game. While still in route to the game, I asked my daughters (10 and 11 years old) if they thought I could get in as a student since I was wearing one of their school hoodie sweatshirts, then asked them what song I should be rapping to as I walk in to make it believable, and also asked if they still listen to Young Jeezy (I have no idea who that is, but I remember the name and it sounded hip and cool at the time). My 10 year old responded, “You’re so weird. That’s probably some rapper from the ’90s.” I was so proud that I even knew the name Young Jeezy and she burned me. Bad.
Sometimes I can’t wait until they start driving.
Got to go freeze my tush off at this game and apparently pay full price …. while setting reminders in my phone to schedule a touch up color for my roots and a Botox refresher.
Until next entry where I can elaborate on, “Is it alive? Don’t tell mom!” remember …
It’s all normal.
Michelle is a Lafayette native and graduate from ULL where she received her degree in Accounting. She is married to Chuck Melchior and they live in Youngsville where they raise their 5 children. When Michelle isn’t working at her regular full-time job, she can be found doing one of her extra side-gigs: room mom, soccer mom, volleyball mom, gymnastics chauffeur, tumbling chauffeur, tee ball mom, ninja karate mom, catechism mom, play practice carpool expert, Google master of learning how to solve a math problem using 4 different common core equations & how to dissect a sentence while not spilling a drop of wine, and cooking delicious food that her children rarely appreciate. Due to her excessive amount of children, she has adopted the Darwinism theory around her house where her children learn to tough it out because only the strong survive!