Have you seen the popular Facebook post that’s been circulating about “sweatpants friends”? They’re the friends that see you undone in every way. The raw, real, messy you…and they love you anyway.
I would say that I have two genuine sweatpant-mom-friends. I don’t break a “sweat” when they’re coming over because they’ve seen me in every way I come. They’ve seen my house fixed up for a birthday party, and they’ve seen it in all of the chaotic-post-explosion glory. They know they might have to text me a few times to get a response. They know my kids could be in pajamas at any given time of the day.
They love me despite all of those things, and never once do feel judged or looked down upon for my messy truth.
I do try to hide the messy things. For most people, I scramble to pick up before anyone can see that we really live. That we play. That sometimes the toilet is overdue for a deep scrubbin’. Sometimes I get sidetracked by my toddler and leave the baby’s diaper on the nightstand. Laundry gets left on the dryer, waiting to be folded – sometimes for days. (Hey, hampr.) And can you believe that we eat? Proof of that fact can be found in our sink. Sometimes our bathtub could use a bath more often.
I don’t list my dirty laundry (literally) proudly. I want to lie and say that our house glistens, squeaks, and smells of bleach and lemon zest. But that wouldn’t be the truth.
The truth would be that I want to be your sweatpants friend.
I will come over and sit in your mess and not judge you one bit. I’ll shove the fruit snacks over so I can have a place at your counter. I’ll fluff the load of clothes in your dryer for you. When I go to your bathroom and see the open shower curtain exposing foam letters stuck to the sides of the tub, I’ll be reminded of my own baby’s toys. Show me your messy truth and know that I’ll sit in it. I’ll feel at home. I’ll feel like we’re sweatpants friends instead of just hiding behind a glistening, squeaky, bleach-and-lemon-zest lie.
The truth would be that I’m asking you to please be a sweatpants friend to me, too.
Come as you are.
Be my genuine friend.
Tell me that my sweatpants look good.
Truly love my family – and all of the mess that comes with us.
I promise to do the same in return.