Today is just one of those days I want to quit.
Like everything … not life. Just everything else.
I’d love to say I’m just tired and I need to sleep but down deep I know that’s not it.
I’d love to say I’m just busy and it’ll slow down and I’ll feel better, but that’s not it.
I’d love to say I’m off my routine, my schedule, and my anxiety is just giving me a run for my money, but that’s not it.
It’s my hormones. I know it is. A week before I start my period I’m just a mess. I’m sad, angry, tired, mad, depressed, unreasonable, anxious and just weepy. All at once and one a time. No rhyme or reason.
Not only do these feelings overrun my life but my body turns on me in physical ailments. Some mornings I wake up and my body feels head to toe inflamed. My breasts are so sore I could just cry. I’m bloated, tired and hungry all day long.
It’s just HARD and that’s ok to say.
But what I do about it and how I handle it is what is most important. It’s not ok for me to just say “I’m about to start” and it give myself a free pass to be grumpy and awful to my friends, family, coworkers, and children.
It’s time to stop using it as an excuse to and start looking for a way to solve it. Or this is what I’m telling myself.
So for the last three months, I’ve been tracking my symptoms. This week I called my doctor and told him what is happening so I can make adjustments to my meds. I made an appointment with my counselor for a therapy session and I deleted messenger off my phone. I loaded a new book on my Kindle and I’m diffusing all the good oils. Pouring all the good juju and vibes on myself that I can and reminding myself that PMS and PMDD do not last forever and in a few days the world will right itself.
Knowledge is powerful. If you’ve never connected the dots to your mood swings and your cycles then you can start now. Resources wise I would highly suggest starting by reading this article that describes the many symptoms of PMS/PMDD.
One of the best books ever written that easily explains the symptoms of hormonal imbalance is Hormones, Health, and Happiness.
Lastly, if you experience any of the above feelings or symptoms I would encourage you to please reach out to a friend, a therapist and your OB/GYN. Talk about it even when you don’t want to. Acknowledge your feelings and find ways to work to a happier you. Maternal mental health is HARD but as mommas, we deserve to live our best life with our children. Take the steps you need to get there.