This year we bought a new car, had a baby, and moved on the day she turned 2 months old. When she was 3 months old, I reached out and got help for postpartum depression.
Financial chaos. Emotional chaos. Literal chaos.
We made it through all, and I can sit back and genuinely say that we made all of the right decisions, and it played out like it was “meant to be.” Our house is beautiful, our babies are beautiful, and I don’t know that our marriage has ever been better than it is now.
Earlier this fall, our baby girl started vomiting…scary vomiting. She was lethargic and grey and had moments of not being able to breathe or catch her breath. Without hesitation we loaded her and her big brother up in the car – and after the appointment, we went to check out.
“We’re having problems with your insurance. Did something change?”
Long story short – during the move, we somehow missed a request from her insurance company. They needed her birth certificate. They didn’t attempt to call or email, and we missed the letter in the move.
We priced out insurance to carry on our own, but because she’d be covered through our insurance again on January 1st, we thought surely we could make it without for less than 2 months.
So wrong. So much chaos.
On Black Friday, I took her in for a bad cough. She kept me up the night before with a strange breathing and a very loud cough. The doctor at the office told me to load her up and to get her to the emergency room.
Croup. Pneumonia. Chaos.
X-rays, flu and RSV swabs, shots, breathing treatments, and oral medicines at and after the hospital. All out of pocket.
Obviously, there is no price that I wouldn’t pay to get her well. I was scared and any number wouldn’t have been too high – my husband and I agreed. I’ve been glued to her and watching her sleep … she’s rarely not in my arms as she’s getting better. She and her brother are the important things. They are our priorities and always will be.
With that being said – the financial chaos of this year has almost done me in. With the hospital bill coming, Christmas gifts have become my biggest stress. I don’t know how we’ll buy for everyone, because we have so many to buy for.
Will they be angry? Will they talk about us? Will they think we didn’t think of them?
The meaning of Christmas isn’t gifts, I know. But I don’t want to let anyone down. I’m not sure how to make it all work this Christmas, because my entire year has been chaotic.
When you see me this Christmas, tell me it’s going to be all right. Money comes and goes – that’s a part of life. Tell me that my babies are beautiful, that we have reason to be proud of our home, that my husband and I look so happy. Remind me of the big things. Bigger than gifts, bigger than money, bigger and better than life’s curveballs.
I know we all have our own struggles, so if you need someone to tell you that it’s going to be all right, I’ll do my best to remind you of all that’s good, too.
Christmas is celebrating the birth of our Savior, and instead of focusing on the chaos, we can find so much peace in Him.
He tells me that it’s going to be all right.