One Saturday in March, my husband and I traveled to New Orleans for a date date. We left both of our kiddos behind and rode in the car — just us. We’ve spent lots of time traveling in the car together throughout our relationship, so it felt natural.
It felt like us.
And I got a glimpse. I got a glimpse of who we are as a couple when we had just a minute in the car to focus on just us. Of course we talked about our kids — over/under on who would wake up first that night, when we would start solids with Fitz, and how far Max has come developmentally in such a short period of time.
For the first time since 2013, we aren’t working to achieve a family but instead working to enjoy it.
2012 was about getting married, getting a law degree, passing the Bar, and passing the CPA exam.
2013 and 2014 were about getting pregnant.
2015 was about bring pregnant with Max.
2016 was about learning WTF to do as first time parents with a newborn, a crawler, a walker, and then a toddler.
2017 was about learning how to be the new “us” after the loss of Theo. And to be frank, this has been one of the hardest parts of it all. We knew individually we would never be the same after 2017. What if “us” no longer worked.
2018 was about lots of speech and occupational therapy for Max. 2018 was about getting pregnant, staying pregnant, surviving bedrest, and delivering our rainbow, Fitz.
2019 is about getting back to us. Enjoying everything we’ve worked so hard for.
I by no means think that Quinton and I will “get back to us” in the sense that we will return to who we were individually and as a couple before infertility, pregnancy, loss, developmental delays, and the redemptive experience of Fitz.
We will never ever be who we were before.
Those people are long gone. We have lost who we were before and a lot of who and what went with those people. We’ve found out who our friends are. We’ve learned about the important things in life. And we’ve found a few pounds along the way.
Before getting married in 2012, we had spent 6 years with just each other. We started off solid because had put so much in on the front in. We started off with a stacked relationship investment portfolio.
Yet, there has been little focus on us in the recent years. There has been little foot work because we have needed to put all of our attention on other things.
But for the first time in years, we really get to focus on us. We get to invest more time in each other.
Our “us” is now bigger than it was before — in number and in strength. Our “us” has had more joyful moments than we ever thought we’d deserve. Our “us” has also had to do things we never imagined.
I am giddy thinking about a shift in focus — a shift to a season of rest and enjoyment.
Stay tuned for date night pics and wine glass selfies.