A Case for Lingerie {Keeping That Spark Alive in Your Marriage}

If there is one thing it’s hard for mamas to feel, it’s sexy. Yep. I said the S word. When your body has been ravaged by bearing a child, it then gets worn down while rearing said child (hellooooo sleepless nights!), in addition to all the other life stuff that’s going on: work, school, house, meals, family, extracurriculars. We are tired, Mamas.

THEN, we see it. That glint in our hubby’s eye.

And we roll ours.

It can be so hard to get your groove on at the end of the day when you are wiped out from the last 14, 18, 20 hours of LIFE. Also hard: waking up early to try to get your freak on before sunrise.

And when you’re too tired, you’re just too tired.

But sometimes, it’s more our self-consciousness that holds us back. We worry that:

We look too tired.

We need to lose 20 lbs.

Our bodies are scarred and stretch-marked.

We have teenage acne at 32.

There is too much silver in our hair?

There are a few more creases on our faces.

But sex can be such a beautiful way to reconnect with your spouse!

Sometimes, we need a pick me up — something to signal to our brains “We are having sex tonight!” And ladies, it’s lingerie. Hear me out.

I know lingerie has a WHOLE list of cons:

It’s often itchy, scratchy, and butt-cracky.

It’s unnecessarily complicated. (WTH is with all the bands lately? I feel like I’m working my way through a laser maze trying to get into some of those things)

Working with post-partum or nursing boobies, push-ups can remove décolletage completely. Then you’re just a head smack on top of some boobs. 

Lingerie is too damn honest. There ain’t no nip-tucking going on in those things. Not like my trusty Spanx that make me THINK that I am sexy with a rocking body when I look at myself fully clothed in the mirror, but in fact are the opposite of sexy (except for that slit in the crotch, rawr; j/k y’all).

THE COST! For such teeny tiny pieces of clothing, they sure think highly of themselves.

Then there are the sexy costumes, a whole other category offering no real support.  

It’s all gonna end up on the floor anyway.

But there are some pros to wearing lingerie:

When you put your lingerie on, you are giving yourself a visual signal that husband / wife time is happening (NOT mama / daddy time).

It can keep those tatas from traveling directions you don’t want them to go.

It can let your husband know you made sexual intimacy a priority tonight, which is a turn on in and of itself.

It can make getting hot and heavy feel special, and even bring up memories of wild and crazy nights before kids.

I have heard that there is such a thing as comfy lingerie. I have yet to find them.

It doesn’t take the full boudoir set, ladies. Shoot, my sexy level is raised if my bra and my draws are the same color.

It’s fun to have a stash of something that is just for you and your husband. But ladies, hide that waaay in the back of your deepest darkest drawer, because your children will find them, and come out wearing them {“mama, why don’t you wear this beautiful dress?” because you were conceived in it child}.

But here’s the kicker: Your hubby probably doesn’t really give a hoot about what’s covering your hoo-ha, because he wants YOU!

Beautiful, vulnerable, desirable you.

So next time you’re feeling a bit self-conscious, lock the door, put on something that makes you feel beautiful, give yourself a grand entrance, and get it on!


  1. That was hilarious! I love posts like this on Lafayette Mom Blog. Make being a mom ans wife true to like but also fun and entertainiimg. Keep up the ezcellent work!


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