Don’t Let Your Mind Bully Your Body

After three kids, I have a hard time loving this mom bod.

As someone who was very thin and fit growing up, it’s sometimes hard to love this three babe bearing mom bod. I flash back to the days when my tan hips held up tiny bikini bottoms and I could shotgun a couple of beers without thinking twice about the caloric intake. I think about the days when friends would laugh about how much food I could eat and “stay so skinny.”

I’m accepting that I no longer have the “rockin'” bod that I did in college.  I was not a “bounce back” mom; with every pregnancy came another stretch mark, 15 more pounds, and a heaping scoop of cellulite.

I decided to join the gym

After realizing how truly unhappy I was with the current state of my body, I joined the gym. I went exactly one time. I felt so out of place, fat people don’t go to the gym. I didn’t know how to lift weights and I don’t want to run on a treadmill. I was so uncomfortable watching the younger, thinner girls prance around the gym in their yoga pants and sports bras.

You see, at this point I’ve had my gym membership for months (not that I go), I’ve been counting calories — I feel like I’m doing everything everyone else does and the weight just won’t budge. Then, I had a realization. There’s NOTHING wrong with my body.

Filters are everything

My daughters are growing up in a world where filters are everything; and they’re fun… until they’re not. The perfectly Photoshopped and airbrushed photos make you question reality. My girls will grow up in a world where people tell them what size to be, how to look, how to dress, and telling them they’re unworthy for being anything less than.

I have to stop hating my body. I have to teach my daughters to believe and feel they are beautiful no matter what anyone else says. At 10, 6, and 5 they are already experiencing the cruelty of the world. My ten year old believes she “has a weird smile,” my five year old gets far too many compliments on her thinness, and if one more person says my six year old is “stout,” I may snap. But, they hear me say negative things about myself all the time, they see me believe what the world says is beautiful, and that ends now.

Don’t let your mind bully your body

My body is no longer supposed to look like it did at 17, or 19, or even 23. I also suspect that when I’m fifty I will {hopefully} realize my body shouldn’t still look like it does today. I’m going to start modeling the positive self talk that my therapist has (figuratively) beaten into me. I love my body: my long, skinny fingers, my soft tummy, the flush in my cheeks. I love the body that keeps me going through this amazing life. I hope my girls hear me being kinder to myself, and in turn, learn to be kind to themselves.

This topic inspired by my own disordered thoughts and my favorite Instagrammer: Georgie Clarke (@georgie.clarke).


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