Helping Kids Through Loss of a Pet :: Loaf’s Legacy

Helping Kids Through Loss of a Pet :: Loaf’s Legacy

I never thought I would have that sort of household when I was an adult—you know, the one that not only has multiple pets but multiple types. But here I am, sweeping up enough fur to build brand new animal friends and requesting that a revolving door be installed at our veterinarian’s office. I cannot say no to an animal in need, and I definitely cannot deny my children the sparkle in their eyes when a new animal friend somehow finds its way to our household. We have one cat, two dogs, a much-beloved axolotl (+ the worm farm used for composting and feeding said axolotl), and an ant farm.

As I sat reading during my monthly Silent Book Club meeting, I didn’t blink when my husband texted a picture of an adorable puppy he had just rescued from a roadway.

That’s just who we are. I even let him lie to himself and agreed with him as he said, “This is not his permanent home. We’ll find someone to take him in.” Our daughter immediately named him Loaf, even though we tried to talk her out of it numerous times. He did resemble a fluffy loaf of bread. My husband and I called him Andy Dufresne (Shawshank Redemption) because he could escape a backyard no matter our precautions. His escapes became legendary. The neighbors would return him and call him “Houdini,” and he was a Houdini-esque dog.

Loaf had a great temperament. He was sweet with the kids and loved to cuddle. He got along well with our other dogs and even with our grumpy cat. Even though he seemed to love his new home, he was a rascal, and his need to escape trumped any contentment in his fluffy body. We all have our vices, and Loaf’s was terrorizing chicken coops. We took every precaution to keep Loaf from escaping so as not to hurt any neighbor’s poultry and to prevent Loaf from being hurt by any poultry-owning neighbors. But sometimes, even the best-laid plans fail.

There was an accident, and Loaf died. My husband and I felt as if we failed him. And the kids, well, we knew that the kids would be devastated when we told them. And they were.

This was their first actual loss- ever.

Helping Kids Through Loss of a Pet :: Loaf's Legacy

As I dealt with my grief, I had to help them navigate their own. What you resist persists. I knew that we just needed to let ourselves feel sad—down to the bones, unable to eat, unable to sleep, unable to cry as much as we needed to. So we did just that. We let ourselves feel as sad as we needed to. The kids asked for pictures of Loaf, so we printed some for them to keep on their bulletin boards. They asked “why” a lot, and we answered as best we could. The days following Loaf’s death felt awkward and too quiet, but eventually, as life does, our days regained a gentle rhythm. Being at the place where the accident happened still holds some emotion for all of us, so there again, we allow ourselves to feel it without shame.

We could dismiss it all and say, “He was just a dog,” or even argue that he wasn’t supposed to be our dog. But that doesn’t match the size of our family’s collective hearts. Losing Loaf will always be a parenting moment at the forefront of my memories. Loss is a part of living; all things have an expiration date. When my kids look back on their childhood and their pets, they remember Loaf. Instead of the harsh sting of their first significant loss, they feel the warmth of compassion that I desperately tried to bring to this tragedy.

In memory of Loaf and all the rascals just like him, I hope that in the face of losing a beloved pet, you dare to feel tremendously sad, if needed, to encourage your kids to feel the full depth of their feelings about the loss, to follow your children’s lead in talking about their pet as often as they need to, and the self-compassion to remind yourself that you gave your pet a good life while you could. Join me in my hope that Loaf is chasing all the chickens he could ever want in the doggy paradise.

Mallory Moser
Mallory, a Louisiana native born in Opelousas, spent most of her childhood years in the surroundings of Carencro. She and her husband met in Eunice, and together they embarked on a journey guided by her husband's Marine Corps service. San Diego, California, became their cherished home, where they raised their three children before life led them back to Louisiana in 2019. Mallory has navigated the legal realm for the last fifteen years. Her path took an exciting turn recently as she embraced the broadcasting world over the previous four years. On the weekends, Mallory finds solace in the pages of books - usually reading Neil Gaiman or her book club's chosen book of the month. She cherishes moments spent walking the family dogs and embarking on bike rides with her kids and husband.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here