Identifying The 5 Love Languages With Your Kids
Anyone who knows me knows I love a good assessment. Enneagram, Working Genius, Myers Briggs…you name it, I have probably taken a test. One of my favorite assessments, though, is the 5 love languages.
The love languages help you learn how you best express and experience love from your partner, kids, family, etc.
Physical touch
Gifts
Acts of service
Words of affirmation
Quality time
There is an online quiz that you can take, but you might already know from the list how you give and receive love best. While most of the language around these 5 are in relation to your partner, they can also be applied to your children.
Physical touch
This is definitely my son’s love language. He does not say much verbally, but his body language tells me everything I need to know. He will crawl up onto my lap, seek a hug, be the first to jump on my back, and loves to hold our hand to fall asleep. Physical touch brings him comfort and also gives him the chance to show his affection without having to say a word.
Ways I try to show him love through physical touch are tight hugs, wrestling while we play, holding his hand while we watch a movie or go for a walk, and lots and LOTS of snuggles when he has had a long day. He even loves something as simple as a high five or fist bump when he’s accomplished something. A little can go a long way.
Receiving Gifts
You may think that this is every child’s love language, and you’re not totally wrong. Everyone loves a gift! The love languages, though, help us to see if receiving a gift forms connection and appreciation more than the others.
If you have a very sentimental child who loves to hang on to toys you have given them, a shirt from your last trip, creates a piece of artwork, they likely have gifts pretty high up on their love languages.
Acts of Service
As a parent, this one was hard for me to grasp, especially since I feel like I am my kids’ servant most days. I realized, though, that the little things go a long way such as braiding my daughter’s hair upon request, cooking her favorite food for dinner, or putting out their clothes for the next morning. Just like adults, kids respond well when their needs are anticipated or something is taken off their plate.
Words of Affirmation
As a youth, I thrived on words of affirmation. A handwritten note or a “great job!” on the soccer field would lift my spirits for the whole day. Words of affirmation goes further than just telling them they did a good job on a task or a goal. Affirming who they are as a person (“I love how brave you are. You make me smile. You are such a kind kiddo”) will leave a lasting impression.
Quality Time
My daughter loves to be my shadow. I’m running to the store, she wants to come. I’m taking out the garbage, she wants to come. I plan a whole day for us to spend together, she is in heaven. For her daycare graduation, I opted to check her out of school after the sermon to get lunch together and go to the pool at our gym. You would have sworn that I took her to Disney World. Any amount of special one-on-one time is a treasure that she loves and values. If your child often says things like “Watch this,” or “come see this in my room”…they are seeking your undivided attention and most likely love quality time.
How we prefer to give and receive love will vary.
Whether we are in a particular season in our lives or we prefer to receive love differently from those around us, it’s important to communicate and not be afraid to ask! Our loved ones are not mind readers. Ask and you will, hopefully, receive!
