“The moment a child is born, the mother is also Born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.” – Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh
Becoming a mom began to change me almost the moment I became pregnant. I had terrible morning sickness pretty much immediately that lasted the majority of my pregnancy. I very quickly began making the transition from having autonomy to constant sacrifice. I got up each morning and went to work even though it was one of the hardest things that I had to do up until that point. It began the giving and sacrificial love of motherhood. I did what was required to support my growing family.
Once, my sweet little baby was born the giving continued to grow and so did I! This trait of pushing myself bled into several facets of my life outside of motherhood and turned into constant overextending and perfectionism. I did not realize it at the time. I began pouring myself into my job, extended family, and friendships with the same amount of sacrificial love that I gave to my family unit. It was too much! As a seasoned mama of 2, I now know that giving with boundaries is imperative to have the stamina that motherhood requires.
What Does Pouring into My Own Cup Look Like?
First, I ask a simple question. What do I need? This looks different based on the day but listening to myself and managing my energy helps me to love those around me better. Sometimes, I simply need to go to Target by myself, have a quick 10-minute meditation, a date night, girls’ night, a massage, a nap, or call my mom for support. By pausing to acknowledge that my needs still matter, I am the wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, and co-worker that I desire to be. I have the capacity to give so much more when I give to myself too.
It is NOT Selfish!
Taking time for myself is not selfish, it is self-love. To truly love others, we must establish a foundation of love and nurturing for ourselves too. This is still extremely challenging! A big reason I am writing this is a reminder of the need to pause and ask myself “What do you need at this moment?”