What I Was Not Prepared For

Dear Covid,

So many things happening or potentially happening that I was not prepared for.

Am I really going to have to stay in the house for the rest of the my life? Like really, no more restaurants, no Target.

No browsing without fear.

I find myself fearing everything from the grocery store to local restaurants.

Am I going to have to wear a mask everywhere I go?

Do I stand 6 feet away? Do I stand across the store?

Do I hang out with friends? Do I stay home? 

In January, none of these things were even issues. Now, I am finding myself struggling with this “new normal” and I am not okay with it. Not okay at all. 

Am I really going to miss my kid’s first concert? Lauren Daigle, my girls are so excited, I don’t know how to tell them that this might not happen.

But worse, am I going to have to home school my kids and work a full time job? I am not a teacher, I applaud you who are … But, me? I am not prepared to work a full day then return home for another full day of school. I wouldn’t know where to start.

Is pulling my children from school to home school them even a good idea? Will I fail them? Will we successfully navigate this journey together?

My kids, my poor kids. I am already stressed out enough. They don’t need to see me pulling my hair out. 

Speaking of the stress. I was not prepared to handle all of this stress. How do I make all these decisions for myself and my family, what is right? What IS the right thing to do? Is there a right thing?

I am tired; I am stressed. I am tired of being stressed. I want to move on from this. Life in limbo is not fun. I was not prepared for this.

Each month with growing cases, my fear grows. I wasn’t scared before. Now I am scared, scared of the unknown, scared of getting sick, scared that my children get sick. 

Mask? No Mask?

Vaccine? No Vaccine?

Live our lives? Hide?

Where do we go from here? What is the right answer? What do we do? I am not prepared.

Sincerely, 

A Scared Momma.

Courtney Henry
Courtney is the wife of Daniel Henry, her high school sweetheart and is the mother to Aleana, Avah and Daniel. She works and resides in the Frog Capital of the World-Rayne, LA. She is a graduate of LSUE and a former boutique owner. She is a self-proclaimed planner addict who loves brownies, Saints football and would rather not be wearing shoes (even though she has a closet full). When she’s not chasing after kids she’s furthering her education and reading. She could live off coffee and cookies, although it would be frowned upon.

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