This is life as a mom of boys.
If I look mildly like a crazy woman please note, #MyThreeSons.
If I seem a bit, on edge, please note, #MyThreeSons.
If I seem to suffer from selective hearing (and vision too), please note, #MyThreeSons.
Yes, I’m that mom. I have three sons who most people will say look nothing like me and everything like dad (I’m ok with that, their dad is pretty cute). I’m not kidding when I say this mom life is pretty crazy. It’s high powered and energy driven. From the moment little bits of life stir awake, or the moment I drag them out of bed, to the moment they actually go to sleep at night. I honestly sometimes think, what else is coming and how am I going to do it? Get dressed, brush your teeth, where’s your brother, oh you need to eat, what about shoes, and on and on. That’s likely what I sound like just about every morning. With the older two being 12 months apart, I often feel more like a referee than a mom these days. There is no shortage of competition here. Throw in a 4 year old who just can’t wait to be the same age as his brothers (he really says this), and you’ve got yourself a full blown race to everything there is! In the past 6 weeks, we’ve been to the ER and Urgent Care for one thing or another multiple times. So the thing is, I just can not live constantly trying to prevent EVERYTHING. Such is life with three full of energy, always on the go boys!
Gone are the days of quiet and clean!
Everything is out of place and, dare I say, dirty all the time. Ok, so maybe not actually dirty, but close enough. The day came where I had to realize if I wanted to have boys who actually learned something from their mother, not just saw a crazy person all the time, I would need to let some things go. Here are a few life changing things I no longer base our happiness on:
- Neatness. If you are that mom who has a boy that keeps a tidy space, in previous years I totally wished to be you. My boys are not this on a regular basis, and I’m over it.
- Calm & Quiet. For me, they go together. Why? Just visit for thirty minutes and you are sure to find out. They WILL run and jump EVERY TIME the need to move, and it will be accompanied with some sort of sound effect or ouch. I’ve yet to figure out why everything is so urgent and requires running for boys. Hence why our go to activity is outside. Just go outside.
- Pretty Smells. Yes, yes. Kiss it goodbye the older they get. I feel like I should have had a funeral for this. Where have my sweet smelling boys gone? Even my four year old wants to live life like the big boys playing basketball, football and just about everything else.
Here’s my confession.
I’m a bit of a neat freak. So naturally when all these boy things started to happen, I was crazy out of control. So how did I fix it? I didn’t and I’m still trying. It’s still hard not to let the stuff that really doesn’t matter run my life.
When I realized what matters most in how I raise my boys is not if they neatly fold and put away clothes, or make their beds perfectly, but rather the type of heart and character they build and cultivate, my perspective changed.
The lessons are in each and every moment for both me and them. I think of the days that are sure to come where there is no more running and no more bumps and bruises because they have grown up. I don’t want to be there and only remember how much I yelled my way into no real accomplishments with them. Don’t get me wrong. They do not get a free pass with no daily responsibilities. I’m sure my three sons will know how to make beds, do laundry, wash dishes, keep tidy spaces and learn to appreciate the beauty of “pretty smells.” That day will come, and I will be proud. But what I’m most proud of is just being their mom. I love them, I pray for them, I teach them. The older they get, the more I realize how much they have changed me. It’s true. In the past eleven years, I have truly become a different person. When I think about what this means for me as their mom, it’s easy to become overwhelmed. My life is forever changed because of them. They make me better, more patient, and more kind, over and over again.
My three sons have taught me though life may be messy, it is so sweet.
If you, too, are a mom of boys, you know there is nothing like the love they have for you. I step on toys, clean up messes, and count to ten or one hundred more times than I can recall. I’ve learned to let life be exciting because every moment is exciting to them. I’ve learned that while being their mom is my duty it is not a job.
I constantly remind myself to soak up the sounds.
Just a few days ago, we were sitting around the table and all three were grasping for my attention all at once. My husband says to them, “Boys, mom only has two ears and can only hear one person at a time.” Well, what a miracle! All of a sudden, one at a time it is. Instead of taking this moment to negatively react because in one breath he was able to get them to chill and I wasn’t, I realized just how big of a deal it is to be their mom. For now, there isn’t much more important than to know that mom can hear and see what they are doing. So I toss the football, play basketball, watch the games, run for no reason, and close doors to the mess. Simply because I’m more interested in being in this life while we have it.