My Breaking Point With ADHD
Back in the spring, my six-year-old son was diagnosed ADHD. This came as no surprise to us as it is something we had long suspected. He is like the Energizer bunny. He never slows down. Aside from that, he either struggles to focus or hyper-focuses, depending on his level of interest. He has trouble following two-step directions. He was getting in trouble at school. I am in no way a medical professional, but I know my son. I just knew this was coming.
After his diagnosis, my husband and I had the “medicine” discussion. Ultimately, we chose to try behavior modification first. When we made that decision, I also made the decision that when this disorder started to affect his daily life and education, we would revisit this conversation. No matter what, we want our children to be able to be the best version of themselves.
My son and I spent the summer with charts, incentives, positive affirmations, and redirection.
At home, this seemed to work. Aside from a few hiccups, his behavior was great! He still had the focus issues, but we were working through it. He was still constantly moving, on one hundred as I say, all day long. I kept telling myself, “He’s a six-year-old boy. This is normal.” I’d send him outside to run it off or take him to the park or splash pad. The summer ran pretty smoothly.
When school started again this month, we lucked out with a teacher who has her own sons and understands the ADHD boy. Things are, for the most part, going well. He is having good days as far as behavior goes. Twice this year, he’s come home with “blue” behavior, meaning it wasn’t a perfect day, but it wasn’t bad either. Both times, it was because he was talking and playing while his teacher was teaching. He wasn’t focused.
Last week was open house, and I stayed behind after to speak to my son’s teacher. We talked about his diagnosis and his 504 plan. We talked about how he has been doing in class. His teacher told me that he is doing fine, and that he is very smart, but he never keeps still. She said that his academic performance is suffering because of this and his lack of focus. She told me that he often stands to do his work because he can’t sit long enough (meaning a few minutes, not even a long time). She said that despite the fact that he sits right next to her desk, she has to call his attention back to her regularly. Now I’m not saying he’s the only child like this. I’m not saying this should be the case for every child. But again, I know my son. I know what he is capable of. I know what he can handle. And because of this, I left in tears. I was starting to crack.
At this point, I was absolutely torn.
My sweet, good-natured boy had been unable to live up to his full potential due to something that can absolutely be aided with medication. But was I going to lose that sweet, good-natured child and end up with a zombie? My husband and I revisited the topic that night, as we said we would. I told him my concerns. I told him I feared that we would lose our boy. I reminded him of the horrible experience our oldest child had with these types of medication. But my very enlightened husband reminded me that I would treat my son if he had an infection or diabetes or cancer. This is no different. It’s a medical issue to be treated with medication as we (his parents and his doctor) see fit.
The next morning, I called his doctor. She saw him last week. Our family adores our pediatrician, and we trust her implicitly. I know she would never prescribe something that my children don’t need. I went in still unsure if I was doing the right thing. During our visit, my boy was all over the place. He was trying to flip on the table. He talked about everything, constantly switching topics. He was, as I tell him, a hot mess. The pediatrician was very honest in telling me that it isn’t often that an appointment throws her off her game, but my son was so all over that it was causing her to lose focus. She said that knowing children the way she does, she has no idea how he can get anything done at school. This was my breaking point. This was when I knew this needed to happen. My boy needed help to be the best version of himself. She reassured me that this was the right decision for him.
This morning, we started our son on medication for his ADHD.
This process is trial and error, but so far, so good. He isn’t a zombie, but he hasn’t had much of an appetite today (which is incredibly strange for this kid). We may need to change the medicine or the dosage, but regardless of where we land, I am confident that medication is the right choice for my son.
