My First Valentine’s Day After My Divorce

Valentine’s Day has always ranked right up there as one of my least favorite holidays. There were never any candlelight dinners and roses. No chocolates or sweet notes. My ex husband was not invested in celebrating this holiday, and so instead, I turned all of the holiday excitement into our children. I loved on them, cooked a special dinner for them and always bought them chocolates and candies to celebrate the day. 

But I always felt left out. Being the mom is hard. If your spouse doesn’t make the effort to celebrate you, then who does? 

The very first Valentine’s Day after my divorce I spent alone. No children and no spouse. No friends. All day I wavered back and forth between pity and courage. I was sad and upset. I felt unloved and empowered to love myself all at once. 

Around 3:00 that afternoon, I found my courage and pulled myself into the bathroom for a nice long bath and got dressed. I put on a cute dress and took myself to dinner. I messaged a sweet friend who was the pastry chef at my favorite restaurant and told her I was coming (strategically so I wouldn’t back out.) I walked in, got a seat at the bar and ordered myself dinner. I was nervous. So many couples. So many strange looks, but the staff was amazing and even brought me a gorgeous, custom dessert  to end my meal. 

That evening I people watched, talked with the bartenders and reminded myself that it’s ok to love myself. On a day I felt so broken and alone, I found myself. 

We get so lost in doing for our spouses, doing for our children, doing for parents, siblings, teachers, friends that we forget that we are important also. If no one celebrates you this year, I hope you remember to celebrate yourself. 

Never forget that the person you need to love the most is YOU. 

Carlie is a divorced mom of five. She moved to Lafayette 22 years ago from a small town in-between New Orleans and Baton Rouge. She has four young adult children from her first marriage that ended after 19 years, Christopher, Cara, Clay and Cade. She has a one year old daughter, Poppy Mae with her significant other, Joey. She is a work-at-home mother who is a freelance writer and photographer/owner of Carlie Anne Collective. Organized chaos and tons of lists are her style. Carlie loves to workout, travel, visit with her friends, bike with Poppy Mae in their neighborhood, attend outdoor concerts, eat out at local restaurants, walk aimlessly through stores looking for good deals and swing in her hammock while chatting about her BST addiction with her online friends. She keeps an active Instagram account as a photo journal of her days.


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