Navigating Conscious Parenting :: Finding Balance In A World Of Overload – Part I

Navigating Conscious Parenting :: Finding Balance In A World Of Overload – Part I

Hey you! Yes you … take a deep breath, everything is going to be okay. She will not remember you becoming annoyed with her for taking too long to get dressed for school this morning once she meets her friends at the bus stop. And trust me, he will not remember you forgetting to get his favorite snack for school this week once his Chromebook is out and class begins. Give yourself some grace. This is me literally talking to myself daily! I take all of the things that went wrong and instantly assume this this will cause some type of trauma and ruin their entire day. My mind is always playing and replaying events, memories, scenarios, both good and bad, in hopes of not purposely causing any childhood trauma.

But could this somehow now be becoming traumatic for me?

From the moment I found out I was becoming a mother (age 20), I knew that I wanted to parent my children differently from the way I was raised. I wanted them to be able to be seen as the uniquely created individuals that they are versus the kids that society wanted them to be. I wanted to actively listen to and respect their voices, not just for the sole purpose of correcting them or proving them wrong, but to learn who they are, how they think, and alter my perspective so that its flexible enough to align with theirs. I had no idea that this was a parenting style until I became older, did more research and had my twins (age 27). I then learned that the style of parenting is called “conscious parenting.”

What is conscious parenting?

Conscious parenting is an approach to raising children that focuses on self-awareness, mindfulness, and intentional parenting practices. It involves being present in the moment with your child, understanding their needs and emotions, and making parenting decisions based on empathy and respect. Conscious parenting encourages parents to reflect on their own beliefs, emotions, and behaviors, and how they may impact their children. It emphasizes fostering strong emotional connections, promoting autonomy and independence, and using positive discipline techniques that teach rather than punish. Overall, conscious parenting aims to raise emotionally intelligent, empathetic, and resilient children while also supporting parents in their personal growth journey.

There are many different approaches to conscious parenting such as mindful communication, emotional regulation setting boundaries etc.

But for now, let’s discuss mindful communication.

“Listening Without Ouch: Embracing Acceptance”

“Navigating Conscious Parenting :: Finding Balance In A World Of Overload” Part I

Before I entered this foreign territory that Webster has labeled as parenthood, I often heard that our kids teach us our biggest lessons about ourselves. I had no clue how challenging it would be to listen to my kids speak to me honestly and independently without getting a case of mom ouchies. You know the feeling you get when your kid is telling you how wrong you are or calling out on something you did that didn’t make them feel the best? Yeah. Kind of hurts from the inside, doesn’t it? That’s because it’s causing me to adjust and self correct myself and that doesn’t always feel so good. But when does taking their feelings and emotions into account become too much? Is it possible to be too “conscious” when it relates to parenting? The “ouch” doesn’t just go away because you tell it to stop. How deep is too deep when it relates to thinking about the “trauma” we may be causing our little ones?

I am already an over thinker times 1,000. I have a tendency to overthink the already overthought leading to me never even attempting or communicating my initial thought because my overthinking has thought me out of it! SHEEESSSHHH. (But that’s a topic for another post. ;)) This quality is not the best trait to possess when you’re now realizing that your kids have feelings, thoughts, and expressions that you cannot overthink for them. There’s no definite sign or signal that screams “this is causing trauma” while maneuvering through these rather tense conversations sometimes. Mindful communication means reprogramming our brains to no longer believe that our kids are “talking back” when they’re merely trying to relay their point of view.

When one of my kids say something to me that may offend me or leave me feeling uneasy I ask myself two questions ::

1. Why are you so “triggered” by what they said?
2. If I were a kid speaking with the amount of knowledge and experiences that a kid has (NOT the 33 years of both that I have), what would I mean if I said ___?

Is this me overthinking again or is this what parenting is all about? This is my constant dilemma. Am I trying too hard to to not cause them any unnecessary trauma that I am now causing it on myself? When is it too much? I will ask this question often throughout these articles because yes the focus is the child ,but what about when there are 3 of them and only 1 of you? I am OUTNUMBERED. So now I have to learn, adapt and adjust and try my hardest to accommodate 3 little unique personalities besides my own.

Bandaging Parental Overwhelm: Utilizing A First Aid Kit for Conscious Parenting

After about 10 years of navigating this land with no roadmap, I was finally able to develop some techniques that help me stay grounded and mentally stable and I’ll share them with you below.

1. I Practice Mindfulness: I attempt to stay as present in the moment as possible with my kids. Distractions happen and things come up but when I am speaking and engaging with them I take in every body gesture and pay attention to there unspoken cues. I also practice mindfulness techniques, like deep breathing or grounding exercises, these help me focus on the here and now instead of getting lost in future worries or past regrets.

2. I am LEARNING to set boundaries: I am working on establishing clear boundaries for myself as a parent. I am learning when to step in and guide them and when to give them space to learn and grow on their own. Learning to trust my instincts and the foundation Ive already built in my parenting journey will definitely lessen the mental load a little.

3. I Seek Support: I am fortunately surrounded by some amazing women whom I am able to talk to, lean on, and vent to without the fear of judgement. I also see a therapist and spend hours reading self-help books, listening to podcasts, and journaling to help channel my thoughts. Sometimes, discussing your concerns with others can provide valuable perspective and reassurance, helping you avoid overthinking and make more confident decisions.

These are three of the best tools I’ve used to help me navigate the land. If you are a mom who struggles with the mental woes of conscious parenting like myself, start implementing these into your lifestyle and see if it makes a difference. As we conclude this exploration of conscious parenting, remember that our journey is ongoing. There’s always more to learn, experience, and share. So, until next time, continue to embrace the joys and challenges of conscious parenting with an open heart and mind. Together, we’ll continue to grow and evolve in this beautiful journey of nurturing and guiding our children.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here