Super Mom Rescue

Super Mom … Super Wife … Super Tired …

In my closet, there is a red t-shirt with this saying on it. And I wore it like a badge of honor. Look at me! I AM TIRED!

News flash: No one cares! We all are! There are no trophies given out for being tired. Sorry to be the one to inform you of this sad truth.

We have all heard the saying, “you can’t pour from an empty cup.” And here I was trying to prove it wrong. Working a full-time job, full-time wife and assistant to a very busy husband, full-time mom to two active little girls, a daughter, sister, and friend with church and community obligations. And I didn’t know how to say no, which I have since learned is a very toxic trait. Girl, I was pouring from a super empty cup! I was tired, cranky, out of shape, with thinning hair, bad skin, and just miserable.

And then COVID happened. The world shut down. And I slowed down. I had to learn how to say no. My husband and I started working from home. The kids stayed home from daycare. During the first two months of lockdown, I continued my “super” ways. I was up at 6am to start work. Cooking hot meals for my family daily. Home-schooling. Cleaning and washing every day. And then George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, and all the others happened. I didn’t really know how to process that. I mean …. sadly, it wasn’t anything that we had not seen before, but this time it hit differently. I found myself angry, fearful for so many reasons, and drained.

During this time of lockdown and unrest, the theme of self-care emerged. I immediately dismissed it as something that I didn’t have time for. But one day I decided to try it. And I have not looked back. I started doing 30-minute YouTube workout videos and watching what I ate. I started drinking more water. I implemented at-home spa nights and I adopted a skincare routine. These changes have made a world of difference.

Since outside has opened up, I now get regular manicures and pedicures. Monthly hair appointments. And quarterly massages. My best friend and I have quarterly “whoo saa” days, where we simply hang out. These new habits are constantly filling my cup, which then allows me to be a better woman for all the lives that I touch. I have learned that it is not selfish to prioritize yourself sometimes; in fact, it is essential. Most importantly, I have learned that I do not have to be ‘super’ every day. It’s ok if my family eats mac and cheese out of a box rather than from scratch. It is ok if those clothes sit in the basket for a few days … at least they are clean! It is ok if my kids binge watch YouTube for a day if it allows me to get some work done. I have truly learned to give myself some grace in all things. And let me tell you a little secret, my husband and kids still think I am pretty damn SUPER!

I write this to encourage you all to give yourself some grace and time. Sis, take the cape off and get some rest. Remind yourself that done is better than perfect. Order that pizza for dinner. Screw the laundry and dishes. Pour yourself a glass of something and relax. Prioritize yourself and refill your cup!

Torilyn Williams is a Louisiana native, born and raised in New Orleans. She moved to Lafayette to attend UL Lafayette, where she graduated with a Bachelor’s in Applied Life Sciences. Tori is blessed to be the wife of her ambitious and hardworking husband, Damian. The devoted mom of Tatum Marie (6) and Aubrey Malia (5) and bonus mom to Damian Jr. (20). Tori has been working in the banking industry for over fifteen years. She is a member of Junior League Lafayette. Tori has a heart for volunteerism, she loves to give back to the community and mentor the youth. Tori is a die-hard New Orleans Saints fan. She is also a self-proclaimed foodie that loves to chronicle her food adventures on Instagram (@Dashofwilliams). Outside of work you can find Tori spending time with family and friends, traveling, trying new recipes, and working out. Tori is always down for a good meal with family or a shopping trip!

6 COMMENTS

  1. This article aligns with just about every woman, mother, & wife. The following words really stood out to me and I will definitely jot then down to remind me on my “super” days:

    “These new habits are constantly filling my cup, which then allows me to be a better woman for all the lives I touch.”

    “Remind yourself that done is better than perfect.”

    Thanks Tori for this uplifting words of fresh air.

  2. Great article from beginning to end with wonderful techniques that any woman can apply to make her life and the life of those around her much better.

  3. Miracle,
    I am so glad that I was able to help and give you some tips! We have to take care of ourselves in order to take care of the ones we love.

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