Super Mom … Super Wife … Super Tired …
In my closet, there is a red t-shirt with this saying on it. And I wore it like a badge of honor. Look at me! I AM TIRED!
News flash: No one cares! We all are! There are no trophies given out for being tired. Sorry to be the one to inform you of this sad truth.
We have all heard the saying, “you can’t pour from an empty cup.” And here I was trying to prove it wrong. Working a full-time job, full-time wife and assistant to a very busy husband, full-time mom to two active little girls, a daughter, sister, and friend with church and community obligations. And I didn’t know how to say no, which I have since learned is a very toxic trait. Girl, I was pouring from a super empty cup! I was tired, cranky, out of shape, with thinning hair, bad skin, and just miserable.
And then COVID happened. The world shut down. And I slowed down. I had to learn how to say no. My husband and I started working from home. The kids stayed home from daycare. During the first two months of lockdown, I continued my “super” ways. I was up at 6am to start work. Cooking hot meals for my family daily. Home-schooling. Cleaning and washing every day. And then George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, and all the others happened. I didn’t really know how to process that. I mean …. sadly, it wasn’t anything that we had not seen before, but this time it hit differently. I found myself angry, fearful for so many reasons, and drained.
During this time of lockdown and unrest, the theme of self-care emerged. I immediately dismissed it as something that I didn’t have time for. But one day I decided to try it. And I have not looked back. I started doing 30-minute YouTube workout videos and watching what I ate. I started drinking more water. I implemented at-home spa nights and I adopted a skincare routine. These changes have made a world of difference.
Since outside has opened up, I now get regular manicures and pedicures. Monthly hair appointments. And quarterly massages. My best friend and I have quarterly “whoo saa” days, where we simply hang out. These new habits are constantly filling my cup, which then allows me to be a better woman for all the lives that I touch. I have learned that it is not selfish to prioritize yourself sometimes; in fact, it is essential. Most importantly, I have learned that I do not have to be ‘super’ every day. It’s ok if my family eats mac and cheese out of a box rather than from scratch. It is ok if those clothes sit in the basket for a few days … at least they are clean! It is ok if my kids binge watch YouTube for a day if it allows me to get some work done. I have truly learned to give myself some grace in all things. And let me tell you a little secret, my husband and kids still think I am pretty damn SUPER!
I write this to encourage you all to give yourself some grace and time. Sis, take the cape off and get some rest. Remind yourself that done is better than perfect. Order that pizza for dinner. Screw the laundry and dishes. Pour yourself a glass of something and relax. Prioritize yourself and refill your cup!