“Expectations lead to disappointment.”
I know this, and I remind myself often. But lowering my expectations in a lot of situations can truly be difficult.
In some capacity, my expectations are high because I assume everyone is like me. I know that’s not real, but hear me out.
When I was in high school and college, I worked multiple jobs, paid my car note, car insurance and cell phone bill. (Shout out to my parents here!) It’s my expectation that teenagers and young adults apply for and accept jobs because they also have the same responsibilities and commitment. But it’s proven to be untrue. As a business owner that employs mostly high school and college students, not everyone is working for the same reasons. I struggle and am often disappointed by those that hardly ever work, never help out their co-workers and take off every holiday. Lowering my expectations has been difficult because I want my employees to know hard work, commitment and sacrifice. Sorry, you can’t take off Thanksgiving, Christmas, Mardi Gras then get an attitude because you don’t have Easter off. Holidays and summer time are our busy season.
But, we’re not all here for the same reasons.
In my personal life, I’ve found lowering my expectations with my dad and my siblings to also be a challenge. The relationships I desire and the reality of life are not equal. It’s been an especially hard pill to swallow since my mom died and since I became a parent myself. I often remind myself, as I compare (comparison is truly the thief of joy) what my life was like with my grandparents, that my son doesn’t know what he’s missing because he never had it. He truly believes his grandparents are the greatest around, as he should, and that is what truly matters.
I’m slowly letting things go. This doesn’t mean I don’t have high expectations and goals for myself, my marriage or my son. But lowering my expectations for the things I cannot fully control or understand are constant work in progress, and a goal I’m always working towards.