The Invisible Struggle :: When Mom Forgets

The Invisible Struggle :: When Mom Forgets

The Invisible Struggle :: When Mom ForgetsI’m frozen and can’t move, thoughts running through my head. It’s because I’ve just realized I have forgotten something important. I stand there in disbelief, internally fussing at myself because how could I forget that?! I’ll call my husband and he’ll help me scramble to make adjustments and handle what has been forgotten, but it’s the initial moment when I realize I’ve forgotten something that causes anxiety and stress.

I’m the primary parent who handles and manages all the scheduling of appointments, extracurricular activities, summer camp selections, the many school events, etc.

My husband does help, especially with coordinating drop off and pick up, but it’s initially up to me to get the schedule correct and in place. My mind is often racing to ensure that I’m not forgetting something; free dress at school, a reading celebration, dance picture day, because something is always going on. Most of the time I have it down to a science, my iPhone calendar is my saving grace. There are those moments when I forget something and I feel so much guilt! Guilt because when a mom forgets it’s a bit of chaos, or that thing that was forgotten doesn’t happen for some reason or another.

One day I had to ask myself (and a few friends) why is that? Why do we feel so much guilt when we forget some date at school or something for their extracurriculars? For me, it’s because if I forget something those sad little faces look at me and it breaks my heart. To hear my kids say they weren’t able to participate in something, or missed a day of something at school is like a dagger to my side. I feel SO bad!

I wish I could say that I’ve learned how to not let those feelings get to me but I haven’t.

My husband is always telling me not to be so hard on myself but it’s not that easy. No, I haven’t found a magic wand that’ll help to ease that guilt. I just take it one day at a time and try to keep my calendar up to date. It’s a struggle I’ve learned to live with and am working on.

Do you struggle with feeling guilt if you forget something for your family?

Vivian Winters
Vivian is a true country girl, having grown up in the small town of Loreauville, where her family owned a farm. She moved to Oakland for several years, where she discovered her passion for travel and seeking new adventures. As a proud Ragin Cajun, she earned her bachelor's degree from UL-Lafayette and later completed her master's degree at UL-Monroe. Vivian and her husband have been happily married for 13 years, residing in the Lafayette area with their two delightful and funny children and two large dogs. Their son is 9, their daughter is 8, and their furry companions, a brother and sister pair, are 3. Vivian and her husband often find themselves playing the role of "Uber" for their kids, chauffeuring them to numerous extracurricular activities. As a self-proclaimed foodie, Vivian cherishes living in an area with fantastic food choices. Whenever she can find a moment to herself, you'll likely find her enjoying music, catching up on TV shows, and savoring those precious moments of peace and quiet.


  1. Yes, I constantly feel guilt about forgetting EVERYTHING!! Written down or in my
    Phone, something will be forgotten daily. I think about this often as I scroll through Facebook or Instagram . Seeing all the perfection of mom’s …. The perfect children with the amazing art projects, the amazing dress up days that probably took weeks to get together, etc. I then ask myself “ When did this come about?” What happened to us to make us feel that if our children miss something they have missed out on life? That it is doomed? Then it goes deeper than that because we are creating entitled children that will become entitled adults who can not function in the real world.
    I have to remind myself that it is not my job to give my children ever single thing or experience in the world. That it will not end if I forget some dress up day or picture day or whatever day they are celebrating now. And that the older they get the more responsible they are to become for these days.


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