We Are All Searching for a Feeling (Without Buying Out the Target Gift Section)
We’re all chasing it — the elusive holiday feeling. The one a certain Christmas song or the smell of a Christmas tree can momentarily spark. The nostalgia from yesteryear. Were things really better back then? If so, why was that? I suspect a lot had to do with living in the moment — before the internet consumed so much of our attention. It was pure, magical, childlike joy. But where does it come from? And why does it feel so hard to recreate as adults? Spoiler alert: it’s not buried under piles of wrapping paper or hidden in the corner of an overstuffed Amazon cart.
That feeling? It’s really about four simple things:
1. Gratitude
You’ve heard it a million times, but an attitude of gratitude is the foundation of that holiday magic. It’s noticing the little things — the twinkle lights on your neighbor’s yard display, the warm cup of cocoa in your hands, the fact that no one cried on the way home from school (this time). It’s being thankful for the big things, too, like the people around you and the time you have together. Gratitude isn’t fancy, but it works.
2. Simplicity
Here’s the deal: the more you overcomplicate things, the less room you leave for joy to sneak in. Simplicity is saying no to some of things you really want to do, clearing your calendar a bit. It’s choosing thoughtful gifts instead of buying a bunch of meaningless ones. It’s lowering your expectations and letting the holidays unfold as they may. Burn the cookies? Laugh. Forgot to move the elf (again)? Let it be. Joy hides in the imperfect, not the Pinterest-worthy.
3. Presence
This is the big one. Are you here, right now? Or are you mentally scrolling your to-do list or doom-scrolling Instagram? That feeling we crave is tied to being fully present — laughing at your kid’s terrible joke, singing like a fool to I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas, really savoring the moment instead of photographing it for likes. Put down the phone. The future can wait.
4. Your People
Let’s get real: not everyone who shares your DNA is going to give you the warm fuzzies. That’s okay. Surround yourself with people who truly see you — your kids, your partner, your friends who’ve become family. These are the people who love you whether your house is spotless or covered in laundry. They’re the ones who’ll laugh with you, cry with you, and maybe even ugly sweater dance with you in the living room.
Recreating the Feeling
That feeling isn’t in a bigger tree, better gifts, or fancier plans. It’s in meaningful, simple things — like baking cookies together, dancing in the kitchen, or singing carols off-key. It’s in the connection we’ve lost in our busyness.
So yes, decorate early if it makes you happy. But remember: the magic isn’t in more stuff. It’s in finding joy where you are, with what you have, and who you’re with. Let go of comparisons. The Joneses aren’t feeling it either, I promise.
And if you burn the ham or forget the stocking stuffers? Let it go, like Elsa. That holiday feeling doesn’t come from perfection; it comes from connection.