There are some things you just do not say to a woman. #1: “When is your baby due?” I think we have all learned that one the hard way. As I have aged more than I would like in the past five years, I have experienced some statements that make me think there should be a “mom code” of words not to say out loud. Here are a few that come to mind and thank you, in advance, for going along with a little rant of mine!
PSA: Words italicized are the responses I would like to give out loud to these statements. Alas, I am trying to be a good person so these responses represent what I say in my head.
“You look tired.”
And you don’t look stupid. (That’s really mean … sorry). Of course, I am tired. No amount of undereye concealer can hide the fact that I’ve been mentally and physically exhausted for years! Motherhood will do that to you. You worry about your babies (no matter if they are still babies or a halfway grown man-child). You are the mom taxi. Hours on the road; quick trips here and there; an hour spent in the car pick-up line. At least three honks a day because you did not go fast enough on the roundabout or you took too long at the stop sign. Homework for days. Not your homework but your offsprings’ homework. The kind where they work it the new way, not the way when you were in school and even then you probably still would not understand. You are a sous chef:
“I want ramen noodles!”
“Ew, gumbo again?”
“I told you, I like tacos only on Tuesday!”
“I’ll give you the color I do on my mom’s hair to cover up her grays.”
No ma’am. I do not want your mom’s hair color. I have never met your mom and I am sure she’s a lovely lady but I want my hair color … the same color I’ve been dyeing it for years! And to be honest, I don’t think I have that much gray. Denial? Maybe but let me live with rose-colored glasses for a bit.
“When are you going to get a job?”
Really?!? I have a job. The pay sucks but I get to be #momtaxi #soccermom #sahm and a multitude of other hashtags. Sometimes I would like an out-of-the-house job but I am blessed not to have to make that decision at this stage of our life. Also, see bullet point #1.
“You need to exercise more often.”
Rolling my eyes on that one. Here’s the problem with that statement: if I workout, I get sweaty. When I get sweaty, I have to get a shower. If I get a shower, I have to actually wash my hair. If I wash my hair, I will have to blow dry my hair. In that case, I will be exhausted and not have the energy to do all that needs to be done in the next 24 hours. Also, doesn’t running after kids burn calories?
There are many more statements I have heard recently that really get my blood boiling. I am sure some of these do not affect other ladies and if they don’t, do you mind sharing how you let them roll off your shoulders?
Rant over … until next time. 🤪