Just Wear the Swimsuit

My oldest daughter is a full-fledged pre-teen. At 10 years old she has a firm sense if what she likes and dislikes — especially where fashion is concerned.

And her taste fluctuates. Her obsession with all things rainbow and glitter and unicorns morphed into a love of black, grey, white, wolves, and moons. As she is finding her signature style, my best attempts at providing clothing we both love is tricky. Everything comes home on approval, and I have become fluent in several stores’ return policies.

I learned a long time ago that my kids don’t do well shopping in a store. There are too many options and they get overwhelmed and shut down. So I choose a selection of items that I know I like — and hope they will like –, bring them home to try on, and return whatever they don’t like or doesn’t fit.

I went to Target and made my swimsuit grab for the summer. I found a black tie-dye one-piece with a long sleeve crop top that she immediately loved, and a cute two-piece with a colorful graphic print on the top that she loved too. YES! Successful first run that will get us going for summer.

 

However, I noticed she never chose the two-piece when we went to the pool. She consistently chose the one piece. Which is fine, except I knew how much she really liked the two-piece. So I asked her, and she said she didn’t like showing her stomach because it was “fat.”

My heart broke. Because body positivity is a big deal at our house. So I had no idea where this preference came from. I asked what she meant by using that word, and she said her stomach was soft and squishy and didn’t lay flat with her suit. I immediately lifted my own shirt and squeezed and pulled on my own stomach and said, “oh, like this?” She giggled, and I giggled. I mentioned that I thought her tummy looked precious in her two-piece, but that her comfort was most important and if she would like me to order some more suits with coverage, I would … so I did.

This led to some self-reflection. She sees her softness as a problem, but truly, it’s only feminine. But she doesn’t see me celebrating my own softness or femininity at the pool, because up until this point, I was only wearing one-pieces to the pool also. I realized that my own body insecurities were being reflected in my daughter’s perception of her own body, and right then and there I decided I was not having it. So, I took a big deep breath the next time we went to the pool and wore a two-piece. My not-flat stomach went right onto display along with my stretch-marked and cellulite-y thighs. It all jiggled when I walked, but I made a decision to be ok with it. I gave myself a pep talk and reminded myself that SHE IS WATCHING and if she sees me comfortable in a two-piece — or at least faking it — maybe she would feel more comfortable.

soft and squishy mamas make the best pool recliners

After 4 weeks of swimming, and a handful of sessions with Mama in a two-piece, my girl chose to wear her two-piece to the pool — and then she wore it at camp. And my heart overflowed.

Sometimes I forget how heavily we influence our kids, but Mamas, we are their number one influence. So wear what you love regardless of what your body looks like, and watch your children’s senses of style flourish in spite of society’s rules of fashion.

Sarah Keating
Sarah is a 30-something mom of four children under six and wife to her high-school sweetheart. She returned to Acadiana two years ago following her husband’s completion of medical school and residency in Shreveport. After the move, Sarah switched gears from full-time pediatric speech-language pathologist and working mom to full-time stay-at-home mom to her brood. Her current hobbies include “speech-therapizing” her children, re-reading the Outlander series, catching up on her Netflix queue after the kids go to bed, completing XHIT videos at naptime, and taking her medication every morning. She loves and respects the sacredness of motherhood, but sometimes you just have to let go and laugh it out. Motherhood has been the most humbling, and empowering journey she has experienced.