After months (really a year) of feeling blah – you know, not so hot, not so great … feeling like I’m failing as a mom and wife – I’m itching to get back into my Super Mom cape.
You see, the first year after my son was born, I felt like Super Mom. Giving birth and sustaining life was amazing and empowering for me. For once, my body was doing what it was made to do, what it was supposed to do. In reality, I probably wasn’t that super, but I sure felt like it.
After arriving home from the hospital with our bundle of joy, I quickly unpacked our bags and put a load of laundry on. And so, it began. Family members balked when I declined their offers of help and visits during the day. My husband had to go back to work, and I had to suck it up and figure out this mom / wife thing quickly. I wouldn’t always have help and I didn’t want anyone thinking I couldn’t do it on my own.
I wasn’t a total hot mess.
A few days after we came home from the hospital, I began walking each day, strolling my son around our neighborhood in the September heat. We hosted friends for a Labor Day bar-b-que at our home (my husband’s idea). At four weeks post-partum, I started cutting my yard (with a push mower) again and weeding the flowerbeds. By the time I went in for my six-week check-up, I was more than ready to begin jogging again. Honestly, I don’t know if it was the endorphins or if I was half crazy at that point.
I wasn’t entirely sure how to do this whole mom gig.
I did know that I needed to make the most of the time I had each day. Allowing time for pumping, food prep, cleaning, exercise, church, family, and work throughout the week meant I had to schedule everything down to the minute. It. Was. Exhausting. How did moms do this?! And work full-time? And find the time to exercise, have date nights, mom’s night out and not look like a total mess?
Multi-tasking became a way of life for me in that first year.
Since my son’s happy place seemed to be the Baby Bjorn, a lot of meals were cooked, cleaning done, work completed with him strapped to my chest. Sundays were for meal prepping a week’s worth of meals, laundry was done what seemed like every day, and I tried hard to keep everything clean. I was momming hard.
I felt like I could do anything!
For the first eleven months of his life, I was able to provide complete nourishment for him with my own body. He was thriving at daycare and at home. I loved my body – it was doing amazing things! Even with my gallbladder being annihilated during my pregnancy and the resulting surgery to remove said floppy gallbladder, I felt like I could do anything! Through all the exhaustion and uncertainty of new parenthood, I remember feeling like I was on cloud nine. My body bounced back. We finally had our little miracle after years of struggling with infertility.
I want that feeling back. I want to feel amazing, unstoppable and oh so needed. Like I did that first year. I want my husband to tell me that he doesn’t know how I do it all and call me SuperMom or Super Woman. How do we get there? Well have another baby, of course.
