An Ode to Screen Time

Gather ’round, moms of the world, and join me as I divulge a little tidbit information that will earn me my rightful place in the Bad Mom’s Club. Perhaps this will even give me a strong enough platform to campaign for the president’s slot of said club. Are you ready? Because, seriously, this one is a doozy. Ok, here we go…

We love screen time AT my house!

Cue the sigh of relief. Oh boy, it feels good to get that off my chest. Now, enter the angry mom-mob calling for my head & my “World’s Greatest Mom” mug. Except, here’s the thing: you can take the mug, but I lost my head (or at least the functioning parts of it) about three years and two kids ago. So before the rioting commences, just indulge me with one last little tribute to my old pal: the tablet. Ahem, ahem.


An Ode to Screen Time

When I can’t take one more question, tantrum, or a fit

Or when I think my head might explode unless my kids just sit

I reach for you, old pal, because you never let me down

Because when I place you in those little hands, there’s nary a word or frown

Whether learning things with Blippi or playing games where things blow up

You buy me 30 golden minutes of silence with my coffee cup

You save me in the grocery store or when I want to pee alone

You rescue me from the dreaded question: “Mama, can I play with your phone?”

Now I know that it’s not so black-and-white; “too much of a good thing” and all that

But sometimes what I need more than anything is an uninterrupted chat

Because between you and me, friend, sometimes motherhood can be a drag

So that’s why my tablet will always have a place in my diaper bag


Now I’m ready to accept my fate, mom-mob. But before I surrender myself, just do me a favor, won’t you? Look into Kindle Free Time Unlimited. I promise it will change your life.

Kenzie Garner
Kenzie is the Chaos Coordinator to a rowdy crew of five: Shaila (12), Maci (10), Levi (4), Gemma Evan (1) & Cameron (tiny baby). A New Mexico desert native, she married her best friend, Ty, five years ago. This yucca blossom has been planting her roots in the Lafayette gumbo mud since 2014. As a blended family mama, she has made it her mission to prove that “stepmom” is not a dirty word. When she isn’t halfheartedly attempting to tame her feral children, you can find her working through her never-ending pile of unread books or binge-watching trashy reality TV. A firm believer in flying your freak flag, Kenzie is passionate about the good things in life: good cocktails, good food, good coffee, & good company.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here