Dear Vanessa Bryant,
You don’t know me and I don’t know you. It’s unlikely we will ever cross paths. Truly, I don’t even know anything about you aside from what I’ve read today in the news. Today though, you’re on my heart as if you were one of my own. As the news unravels and recounts your loss – sweet 13-year-old Gianna, who I hear you called Gigi, and your husband Kobe – I am heartbroken for you the most of anyone. While I have known pain and heartbreak, I honestly cannot fathom the heartbreak you’re experiencing.
I remember how hard it was to be a mother during that first year with each of my children. Finding a new normal and routine, working to find comfort within a body once again changed, and just regaining harmony within the family home as everyone looks to you to lead the charge; all of that is very difficult on its own for many women during that first year. It was for me, and I wonder if you were experiencing that as well with your 7-month-old daughter. All of those changes on their own demand the help of our inner circle if we’re going to transition with the least discomfort. Whether you consider it your village, tribe or sisterhood, having those family and friends to hold you up on the hard days cannot be undervalued. As you live through what I imagine is the worst day of your life, my deep-down wish for you is that support.
Vanessa, I hope you have an unwavering support system.
I hope today that you are surrounded by people who will carry the weight until you are ready to take it on. I hope that you have people who will keep showing up for you, even weeks and months from now. I hope someone takes you into their arms in a deep embrace and keeps holding on longer than usual. I hope you allow yourself the grace of a deep, soul-cleansing cry. I hope that on some level, while nothing anyone does for you now will lessen the pain of the loss you’re experiencing, it shields you from other pains. I hope one day, however long from now, you are able to feel peace again, because I would imagine you feel the exact opposite of that now.
Vanessa, as the whole world reels the loss of a legend I know you must be feeling a much different loss. I think of the love I have for my own husband and I feel sick at the thought of waking up without him, but I know that’s your reality and I am heartbroken for you. It’s easy to see the coming days, weeks, and years will bring immense change. I don’t know about you, but I am not that good with change, worse so when I’m in turmoil. I think of you having to live through all of those hard times and harder feelings and do it while still having to be a mom to your three other children, and it breaks my heart as a sister in motherhood. You probably feel the weight of helping everyone around you to mourn, but I hope you are allowed to mourn also.
I am part of a large boutique clothing community where the mantra is it’s more than just clothes. During my time there I’ve witnessed how true it is for this community as mothers have lived through the loss of their children, and I’ve been allowed to see the fallout. I’ve seen how the community comes together to help with everything from dressing other children for funerals to showing up with meals and sending money and prayers. My deepest hope is that you have that same kind of community. I pray that your circle is even wider than you could have imagined.
Vanessa, I will be thinking of you, even though we’ll never likely meet, and sending you my love from Louisiana – where almost no one has ever met a stranger. I hope that your tribe is holding you through this the way mine would. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Sarah,
It is nice to meet you from a distance. What a beautiful, touching and heartfelt letter to the wife of Koby Bryant. You honestly speak from the heart as it sounds you have been through this similar situation.
Thank you for being the light in this situation. We are living in such a dark and divided society and as a single part to a young child, it makes making life decisions for him so much more difficult.
Sincerely,
Rusty Gremillion
Thanks for your kind words.
Beautiful. But what about the other 7 victims? This happens every time a famous person dies in tragic accident. All the other victims don’t even get named. Won’t you write a letter to all the surviving families?
I wrote this before anyone else was named. I wrote it before there was even any idea of who else or how many were on board. I just wrote it from a mom to a mom as it unfolded because my heart was breaking. That’s all.
This is kind and beautiful. I would rethink using an appropriate word like tribe. It detracts from your message.
Thank you for writing such a beautiful message.
Written from a simply beautiful heart! Prayers of strength and continued support for all the family members for all that have passed on. ❤?
Brandy, why not take Sarah’s lead and write your own letter to some of the other families? She obviously felt compelled to send words of comfort to Vanessa Bryant. I don’t think it’s right that you come on here and blast her on own post for such heart felt and since words.
Sarah, your words were beautiful and comforting. Sending thoughts and prayers to all of the families who were affected by this awful tragedy today.
Thank you for your kind words.
What about the other 7 victims nobody ever talk about ? They had family to there life was just as importance as Koby Bryant . Beautiful Letter my heart and prayer goes out to all family who has to deal with death.
This was written just as Gigi’s name was released; before how many or who the other victims we’re was made public. It was written from my heart as a mom to a mom in that moment. It doesn’t reflect any notion that the others were less valuable. I just had no idea who they were and I did know that this one person, Vanessa, was suffering unimaginable pain and I wanted to send my good thoughts to her. That’s all. Nothing nefarious.
This is very nice however, how do you take it pretty much from the perspective of her loss of Kobe but barely mention the loss she has felt over losing Gigi.
I just wrote what my heart was feeling in that moment. I thought about both losses as I wrote. Maybe that wasn’t well articulated. I did of course feel that all lives lost we’re important.
Worry not! Your words were well received by the majority of the people who read this.so very proud of you for reaching out to this mother! We all are grateful for your caring and grace and saying when we could not form the words but felt them right along with you . God bless you and all of the families affected in this tragedy.
Thank you for your kind words.
For those that are complaining that she wrote this letter to Vanessa, and not the others that are grieving… please take a look at the date this was posted. This was posted yesterday. It may have even been posted before we had any of the names for the other victims. Let’s try and practice a little more kindness and appreciation, rather than complaining, and putting people down. Thank you for sharing this. It was a beautiful message that obviously came from your heart.
Sarah,
First, let me say, I am so sorry for the criticism you are receiving. I believe if you start reading something that a person has written from their heart and you aren’t in agreement pass it over. No need to comment. You wrote what God laid on you heart. I appreciate you sharing!
Thank you for your kind words.