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I often times find myself selfishly wondering, “What would life be like without children?”
Would I be the well-put-together trophy wife with the perfectly designed, white box architecture house who yields a spic and span abode for her adoring husband to come home to each day? I wanted that. <- notice what I did there. Yet, at the same time I always envisioned myself as a mother and most of the time pictured the aforementioned scenario with the added bonus of two precious tots playing quietly with each other in their toy room.
Cue the hurricane of life … with children
A few weeks ago, as Hurricane Harvey was roaring through our neighboring state of Texas, this working mom was hunkered down for three days with the hurricane that was happening inside my home and my heart. Local schools and daycares were closed because of the threat of high amounts of rainfall in our area, so there I was confined to being inside for who knew how long with my stir crazy 4-year-old and 18-month-old daughters with no way of evacuating from what was about to hit.
No Pressure
I soon felt myself drowning in a sea of toys strewn across the floors of several rooms, dishes piling up, diaper changes, “baby” movies on repeat, Disney’s Moana on repeat. Oh, did I forget to mention that I scheduled a vacation day to clean the house sans kiddos on Tuesday in preparation for my oldest’s Moana themed birthday party on Saturday? That glorious dream was thrown out of the window and boarded up when the texts came through the night before. “You’re Welcome!”
Throw me a Lifeboat, will ya?
Amid all the chaos, worry, shouting “Please don’t mess that up!” “Leave that be!” “This is for the party!” “Use the other bathroom!” etc. and the overwhelming feeling of “how in the heck am I suppose to do this, I’m not super mom ya know?!” My 4-year-old daughter, Amelia, hugs me tight and says, “I just love this!”…
Talk about a storm surge of emotions that waved through me. I’m talking Cat 5 tears here. My children didn’t care about the condition of the house, but about the love and attention I was showing them in our home. They didn’t need things to be perfect to have a great time. They didn’t care that we stayed in our pajamas or that I went without makeup for three days. They need me to be present no matter the weather and I all too often forget that.