I won’t be liked by everyone.
Isn’t that obvious? It’s impossible for everyone in the world to like you all of the time. Even though that’s logical, known, and a lesson we teach our kids so early on, sometimes it still gets me.
Recently, an online comment directed toward me was “How insensitive. How patronizing. Your friend deserves better than you.”
It hurt because what I said, what I wrote, was written with genuine, good intention. It was written to one specific lifelong friend who knows my heart.
But I let a stranger behind a keyboard, who doesn’t know my heart, knock me down and out.
It’s weighed so heavily on me because I didn’t understand why I was so wrong. How something that I meant to be good was perceived as bad.
And then my mom said “You don’t have to allow them to rent space in your mind.”
To the negative thoughts I have about myself because of other’s perception – consider yourself evicted.
I am not saying that I’m free to patronize, be insensitive, to degrade, disrespect, or dehumanize. I should be, and will be, held accountable for my words and actions if they mean to hurt or harm.
But when I mean well, when I mean to uplift, when my heart is in the right place, I do deserve grace.
I do deserve chances to explain myself and my intentions. I do deserve to voice my opinions.
I will not be liked by everyone, and my heart and my mind have to accept that fact.
It’s not a fun one. It’s not an easy one.
It’s a harshly true one.
Get to know my heart, my intentions, my tone, my facial expressions. My humor, my faults, my weaknesses. You don’t have to like me, but please try to get to know me first. I will not always be in the right and I am not perfect. Correct me when I’m wrong, but without judgement, haste, or conclusions.
I dread the day my babies have to learn this lesson, but it’s only a matter of time.
I’ll gladly tell them that they don’t have to “rent space in their minds.” I’ll pick them up, dust them off, remind them of their good, check their intentions…
And then we’ll get right to work on eviction notices.
If I do my job right, their hearts will be in the right place.