My First Fatherless Father’s Day

Dad recently died due to complication from muscular dystrophy, so it’s my first fatherless Father’s Day. I will still celebrate my amazing husband in his role as Father to my own children, but I will not have my own Father present this year. 

Ouch. That hurts. 

So, Dad, in honor of your first Father’s Day with our Heavenly Father, here are some thoughts about what you have taught me in life.

Everything comes down to love. 

It reminds me of my all-time favorite quote about love from “Yours, Mine, and Ours” (1968) starring Lucille Ball and Henry Fonda. As Frank (Fonda) is escorting Helen (Ball) into the car to deliver their first child together (bringing the kid total up to 19), Frank tells Helen’s teenage daughter Colleen all about love. [quote]”It’s giving life that counts. Until you’re ready for it, all the rest is just a big fraud. All the crazy haircuts in the world won’t keep it turning. Life isn’t a love in, it’s the dishes and the orthodontist and the shoe repairman and … ground round instead of roast beef. And I’ll tell you something else: it isn’t going to a bed with a man that proves you’re in love with him; it’s getting up in the morning and facing the drab, miserable, wonderful everyday world with him that counts. “[/quote] Love is a choice. It’s choosing to invest time in those you love, oftentimes at the expense of oneself. In looking back on my life with Dad, I am overwhelmed by the number of times he chose us. 

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He chose us when he paid tuition.

He chose us when he attended dance recitals.

He chose us when he cheered on Little League.

He chose us when he helped coach soccer teams.

He chose us when he spent his days off work teaching us math and science.

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He chose us when he planted our favorite veggies in the garden.

He chose us when he taught us how to ride a bike and drive a car.

He chose us when he spent extra time outside in the heat so we could learn how to mow the lawn.

He chose us when he killed snakes and roaches and all things we feared.

He chose to repair our popped lines and retrieve hooks from trees instead of taking a fishing trip with his buddies.

He chose to sit next to us while we cried over math homework instead of kicking back with a beer to watch the game.

He chose to wait up for us on nights we were away from home instead of catching some extra shut eye. 

He chose us. 

Even when he didn’t like the choice, or maybe the choice brought his disability to light and made him self-conscious, we didn’t know.

Because he always VALIANTLY chose us. 

He is our hero because he chose us. 

Even in death, he chose to make everything as easy as possible for us. 

So, Daddies, choose your children.

Choose your wife.

Over and over again.

At the end of your life, you are left with the choices you’ve made. Make them good ones.