Quarantine snacks?
GONE.
Lysol and toilet paper supply?
GONE.
Space between my shoulders and ear lobes?
LONG. GONE.
A few days ago I was welcoming spring flowers and sunshine. Now, I’m an extrovert on house arrest anticipating armageddon. My innocent obsession with Frozen 2 is currently being replaced by a newly founded (and exceedingly unhealthy) relationship with TikTok.
How did we get here?
I’m not used to this. Doom and gloom are not words in my vocabulary. For me, worst-case scenario is still one heck of a good time. You want to rain on my parade? Well, go ahead. Glitter and sequins sparkle better when wet!
…Except lately.
Lately, I’ve been all dressed up with nowhere to go. Literally.
If you’re like me, friends and family tend to look towards you for humor and cheerfulness when things seem bleak. I am trying my darndest to keep spirits high; to be #happyinhiding.
If we’re being completely honest …
…. Safe space?
It. is. EXHAUSTING.
I’m running on fumes right now, unfortunately, and there just isn’t enough positivity to tip the scale in my favor.
Tension and worry impede even my happiest of places. I’m a bundle of nerves singing the blues, off-key and on repeat. More often than I’d like, I’ve had to catch myself from falling down a radical thought rabbit hole.
I’ve never had thoughts like this before, so what’s the deal? Is it because I have children now? Am I more socially aware now that I’m older? Was the 4 days of homeschooling the straw that broke the mama’s back?
I wish I could blame the lack of social interaction for my apocalyptic outlook, but TBH, our cart-licking toddlers have put us in this type of quarantine many times before. No – the current bee in my bonnet is the exact thing Grand Pabbie troll warned us about: FEAR.
Fear is a dangerous thing. Fear cannot be trusted.
Ladies and Gents, there is a whole slew of fear out there right now. Each day brings something new to worry about. Remember when our biggest concern was finding toilet paper?
I am by no means telling you not to worry. (It’s a pandemic, people.)
Precaution doesn’t have to mean panic!
What if it does feel pretty panicked?
You feel what you feel and your feelings are real.
…but if you’re not careful, that fear can consume you entirely.
With so many uncertainties, our fears have become greater and more powerful than what we’re accustomed to. We are in uncharted territories; our minds have been conjuring unlimited doomsday scenarios, each more intricate than the last.
With each update, each theory, and each ‘rumor‘ the hair on my neck stands up a little more.
….I wasn’t worried about my money in the bank account… but your Facebook post made it seem that you’re really worried about yours… Since you took your money out, maybe I should take mine out too? …. No – This is crazy! I don’t need to be thinking so extreme… But..but what if something DOES happen? I want to be prepared… Ok – Better safe than sorry!
This is a new feeling for me; anxious anticipation.
*0/10 Do NOT recommend.
Right now, we are all being stretched to the absolute max, tested beyond our measure. That does not mean we should give up. It means the exact opposite.
I’ve decided to take some advice from an old friend, Mister Rogers, and look for the helpers. Here in Acadiana, we have a LOT of them. It’s been so incredibly heartwarming to see this community come together (figuratively, of course) to help make sure everyone is taken care of. It gives me so much hope and reassurance that everything is going to be okay.
As for me, I fully intend to keep trucking along in my merry-mama-mobile. Sure – It might be missing a side mirror, the transmission is hanging on by a thread, and we’ve DEFINITELY been running on E for the 3rd day in a row… But that is the part I play in all this. That is my role; it’s how I can contribute.
I encourage you to do the same. Step into your power. KEEP GOING. Continue being the calm in the storm.
Do what you can to provide support, for yourself and for those around you.
Even if that means just washing your hands. ♥
