When is it Safe to Announce your Pregnancy?

Now. 

Yep. I think you should announce your pregnancy now. 

Well, let me back up a bit. I do not necessarily think you have to announce it to the whole wide world. But, I do think you need to tell those who love you the most the most precious news you could ever share. 

When I was pregnant for my first, we waited until eight weeks to share with our family and friends. We waited the “requisite” twelve weeks to share with the world. Even though I did blurt my news to a high school friend in the grocery store check out line when I was a mere six or seven weeks. 

About two months after we delivered Max, a dear friend sat at my kitchen island as we rolled out cookie dough for Christmas cookies. She told me that she had a friend who was freshly pregnant, and the friend wondered if it was safe for her to tell her family at Christmas. Something told me that this was the classic “asking for a friend” scenario. 

But, we had played it safe. We had kept the secret. So who was I to tell her to tell “her friend” to do it any differently. I told her to tell “her friend” something like this: “It is safe to tell people at twelve weeks. But, if something happened to the baby, she would want her nearest and dearest to know then, too. So she should tell them! Let them celebrate. And, God forbid, if something goes wrong, she will have a support system in place.” 

My dear friend did not get a chance to tell her family at Christmas that she was expecting her first baby. Sometime shortly after we joyously made the worst Christmas cookies that you have ever seen, her first sweet baby went to be with Jesus. 

And that perfect little angel began to change my outlook on when it is “safe” to announce pregnancy. 

When we got pregnant for our second baby, Theo, a year later, it was Thanksgiving and we could not keep our mouths shut. I think I was just about six weeks pregnant when we broke the news to our families. But its OK because we made it to twelve weeks with no problems. It was not until just shy of twenty that our lives changed forever. 

We broke the news too early, but even twelve weeks was not “safe” for us to announce the pregnancy. 

After losing Theo, we knew that no pregnancy for us would ever be the same. Twelve weeks would never be “safe” again. 

Right at five or six weeks with our third pregnancy, we told our close friends any family. We committed to celebrating each and every second of the pregnancy. I think I have more bump pictures of my “more bloat than baby” belly this pregnancy than I did for Theo’s whole pregnancy. 

We have found so much joy in sharing the news. And our people know. They know that we are terrified to get to twelve, to get to twenty, to get to twenty-eight, to get to forty. They know. And we need them. So we told them.

As soon as we started to tell our people, I started to make a mental list of people we would have to alert if something went wrong. The more excited we got, the more people we told, and my mental list got out of hand. But, I am so glad that our people know and that they are praying for us. 

I wish my precious friend would have been able to excitedly tell her family about her first pregnancy instead of only being able to tell them after the fact. 

Tell them now. 

You and your husband may wish to keep the secret to yourselves and enjoy the fact that you know something glorious that no one else knows. But, just know that there is no hard and fast rule. You do not need to wait until eight, or twelve, or whenever. 

It is your joy to share. You tell whomever whenever your excited little heart desires. It is safe to tell when you feel the need to tell. 

 

Rebecca is an attorney by day and a toddler wrangler by night. She is a product of divorced parents and grew up in both Thibodaux and Franklin, Louisiana. Rebecca attended Loyola University of New Orleans and Southern University Law Center. Rebecca married her high school bestie in 2012. Quinton and Rebecca went through months of infertility before giving birth to Maxwell Lincoln in 2015. In 2016, they were surprised by a baby boy due in June 2017. But, in February 2017, they suffered with incompetent cervix and delivered sweet Theodore Paul too soon. In October 2018, after an incredibly difficult pregnancy, a cerclage, and a whole bunch of bedrest, Fitzgerald Joseph was born -- a happy, healthy, and perfect rainbow. If you can't find Rebecca, you can summon her with pot of freshly brewed coffee or look for her in Target or behind the kitchen island where she is hiding from her kids with a very generous pour of red.