Stop Being Mean to Pregnant Women! Take It from 2 Lafayette Moms

This post was co-written by Lafayette Mom writers, Blair Broussard and Emily Beatmann. 

Pregnant Woman

Here are two Lafayette Moms’ experiences with unwarranted comments about their pregnancies!

I am 4 months pregnant with baby number three and could not be more excited for the newest addition to our family. Because this is my third pregnancy, I am looking pregnant a little sooner than a first-time mom. I recently bought a new minivan for my growing family! During that process, the sales lady said “Ohhh! You’re due any day now, huh?” I was completely taken aback. I just started showing within the last two weeks or so. It was like a gut punch. I told her that I wasn’t due until October and her eyes got big. She then said, “That’s going to be a BIG baby!” With this being my third baby, I was able to shrug off this comment a little better than I would have for my first pregnancy. I looked at myself in the mirror and thought “She needs to get her eyes checked!”

We need to stop commenting on other people’s bodies, especially pregnant women’s bodies!

As women, societally we are fed from a young age that our value is tied to the size of our bodies. This is obviously not true, but still hard to untangle as our bodies are evolving during pregnancy. You do not know the context of how that comment will be received. Maybe this person struggled with an eating disorder previously, recently had a miscarriage, still looks pregnant after having a baby, or this person is not even pregnant. You do not know what body issues others may have! Besides making someone feel bad about themselves, how is asking someone “Are you sure you aren’t having twins?” a kind thing to say? It’s not. It’s not kind to comment on how “big” you think a pregnant woman is when they have all their resources going toward growing a human. Being pregnant is hard enough without a stranger body shaming you while picking up groceries at Target! 

Blair here, and very similarly to Emily, I’ve endured my fair share of comments about the size of my body during pregnancy, miscarriage, and every stage I’ve been through in between.

I miscarried between my first and second pregnancies and didn’t shake the weight off. I had two different women ask me if I was pregnant during that time. I tried to take it in stride and simply responded each time with “not right now, but I’m trying to be pregnant.” Major blow though. 

I’m now 36 weeks into pregnancy number 3 and admittedly as big as a house. Even when I’m not pregnant, I’m 6’2” and have red hair so I definitely don’t fit into Cajun country; add pregnancy into it, and I know people are staring. 

This is my third pregnancy in four years. Some friends and clients don’t know me not pregnant. If I had a nickel for every time someone said “You’ve been pregnant for so long,” I would have my daycare bill for all three kids covered. Don’t you think I feel like I’ve been pregnant forever? My pregnancies are full of sick days and insomnia-filled nights; I know it feels like I’ve been pregnant forever, you don’t need to say it. 

The moral of sharing both of our stories is simple. Pregnancy is already hard, don’t make it more difficult than it already is. I try to give others the benefit of the doubt. I believe that many want to connect about having children or think they are being funny with a quip about how big a pregnant lady is. Remember to be kind! We are all doing the best we can, especially during pregnancy. So please, stop being mean to pregnant women! 

Emily Beatmann
Emily is a Louisiana native born in Shreveport, Louisiana. She went to UL Lafayette and earned a bachelor’s degree in Public Relations in 2012. It was here that she fell in love with her husband, Jude, and the city of Lafayette. On the weekends, you will find Emily at a festival, the farmer’s market, enjoying a Mardi Gras parade, or eating at one of the many delicious restaurants in Acadiana. Emily and Jude have two children named Mia (9), Patrick (4.), and Violet (4 months.) She is a Marketing Director by day and mom by night! Emily has a passion for reading, Harry Potter, theatre, coffee, wine, spreading financial literacy, her friends, and family.