As a working mom, I wonder frequently how do I find the balance? We are being torn in a million directions constantly. We are expected to be everything to our kids, be a fantastic partner, shine at work, have a good social life, carry the mental load, work out, drink enough water, etc. The list is endless on the expectations of moms and I’m tired. I feel the weight of it and wonder if we can really have it all? Growing up as a millennial, the girl boss dream was presented to young girls as “making it” in the movies. I think the goal was to prove to young girls that they can be anything that they want to be, but unintentionally a standard was set to be perfect in all areas of your life. I recently came across a fantastic quote by Shonda Rhimes that encouraged me to look at the balance in motherhood with gentler eyes.
“There is no such thing as balance…That is motherhood. If you are a working mother you are often not there as much as you’d like to be. I said this once somewhere, that if I’m standing on set watching some amazing thing being shot, then I am missing my daughter’s science fair. Or if I’m at my daughter’s dance recital, then I miss Sandra Oh’s very last day, and very last scene being shot on ‘Grey’s Anatomy.’ That’s what happens. Those are the trade-offs. You have to make a decision that you’re going to miss one thing and be good at another. I’ve always said if I’m winning at one thing, I’m failing at another. And a lot of people say, ‘failure?’ And I say, ‘yes!’ I like to call it failure because it makes me feel better.” – Shonda Rhimes
What a fantastic reminder. Balance as a working mom means oscillating your priorities to what is the most important thing at that time and letting it be ok to give less in other areas of our lives. This lesson is something I am constantly relearning. I would not choose a different lifestyle. I genuinely enjoy working and adore being a mom. I also want to acknowledge and validate other working moms who feel they are coming up short in one or many areas of their life. I see you. I am you.