I want you to know …
My sweet, loving, adventurous, rambunctious little boy, that you were my first. The first I held, comforted, loved and fed. The first I obsessed and worried about. The first I watched sleep. You are a momma’s boy through and through and I am perfectly fine with that. You made me a momma and I am a boy mom first.
You are special.
The struggle to get you here means you will always have a special place in my heart. From my infertility struggles to complications during my pregnancy for you, it wasn’t easy. You are our miracle baby. But so is your sister. When you are older, I will explain IVF and all that entails to you and your sister. For now, know that we prayed and prayed for you. You are so loved.
I’ve watched you grow.
The last three years have been filled with amazing, bittersweet moments – too many to count. You are growing into an independent little man. I love seeing you grow but I also want you to rely on me. Lean on me. You have gone from being a laid back baby to being busy … ALL THE TIME. I’ve watched you build loving relationships with your grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. The love you have for family and friends is beautiful. Your rambunctious nature, soft heart and easy smile means you have everyone wrapped around your little finger.
My heart will hold more than enough love for you and your baby sister.
I am beyond nervous about what I will do with a girl and what I will do with two children. I’m sure, at 3, you don’t exactly know what to do with a baby sister either. Right now, you are so excited about her arrival. I love that you love to tell her good morning and give my belly kisses. I love that you already want to share your toys and books with her. I know you will delight in feeling her kick and move in my belly over the next eighteen weeks or so. It’s okay if you aren’t so excited once she arrives. Your world is about to be turned upside down with her arrival.
I am indulging both of us over these next few months.
We cuddle, play, talk and look at your baby pictures. We have ice cream and popsicles. We play with bubbles and sidewalk chalk. I read you “just one more book” most nights and don’t mind rocking you when asked, even though I know you are just stalling before bedtime. As much as I enjoy our time now, our routine and life will change at the end of 2018. There will be a new baby who will rely on me and your dad for everything.
In the end, I want you to know that you are loved more than words can say and you will always be my first baby.