The Ice Tray Is Full
Yep, the ice tray is a trigger for me. It’s full. Which means my oldest has gone. Off to college in another city and living her best life.
How did eighteen years go by so quickly?
I so vividly remember struggling through the hard days. Counting years until she could stay alone or drive herself. Those milestones seemed so far away yet snuck up on me in a flash. I recall driving by her high school 2 years ago and my husband saying “only 2 years left!” I giggled as if it would slow down the inevitable. Each year would come and go faster than the last. Make it stop!
Now listen, I 100% embraced every single season she was in. I never wanted her to stay young because I always knew that her next adventure would be better than the last and she needed to grow and learn. I drank every last sip and documented all of it with posts and pictures. #sorrynotsorry I made it a point to not miss a thing, even if it meant giving up vacation days at work or time with my own friends.
I regret nothing.
Back to the ice. She never goes without it. For years, the tray was empty from full soccer water coolers or ice chests. When her last season ended, it was iced coffee and Dr. Pepper. I never had ice. Now every time I open the freezer, it slaps me in the face. She’s gone. Not forever, and we talk daily, but she’s not going to run around the corner and scare the daylights out of me. She’s not going to pop into my room at midnight to tell me she’s home. Now it’s texts and phone calls, and I am counting down the days to our next visit and how wonderful it will be.