What’s there to love?
Honestly, if you catch me on “one of those days,” the only answer I may have is “I love that God created you.” Because your attitude, I don’t love that … and your back talk, I definitely don’t love that!
When I think back to my first pregnancy, I remember immediately becoming so excited at the thought of having a girl. However, what I remember even more than that was the overwhelming feeling that the baby would be a boy. I just knew it. Round two, same, and again I just knew it was a boy. A few years later, I let go of the inkling I had to birth a daughter and accepted from the beginning that baby number three would also be a boy! I’m not kidding when I say, I know I was built to be a boy mom. Enter, the pre teen years. Y’all really should have warned me (enter all the anguish emoji faces here). It is pure, hormonal, emotional, competitive, crud laced with heartaches and love. Yep, all of that wrapped into the littles who are transitioning into bigs. Makes me want to cry just thinking about it. Can I just have a tantrum?
Boys love their moms like no other.
In the early years, they would cling to me so tightly there was little room for me to do anything without them. Now, I’m lucky if I can sneak in a hug or a kiss. I’ve realized that while they still need me, they are truly becoming their very own at this age (11-13). Contrary to popular belief, boys are very emotional and middle school has got to be the most cruel place on the planet to go through puberty. With all the cranky attitudes flying around this place, sometimes (actually meaning all the time), it can be hard to focus on what there is to love about boys at this age. Here are the things I remind myself of daily and have become intentional about focusing on to get us to what I’m sure will be pure joy – the teen years.
Competitiveness
It’s a gift and a curse at times, but this is when I get to see what my boys are made of! They are strong, passionate, and committed to being the best at the things they love. It’s my best opportunity for guidance and support because we all know that competitiveness, if not bred correctly, can lead to some major self absorbed behavior. It’s ok for them to be competitive and I choose to help them learn to use their passion to help push others forward too. Not just themselves.
Independence
Don’t think I’m crazy with this one. I can’t say that I’ve waited for the day where I don’t always have to be there, but who knew it would be such a great feeling! Plus, I get to enjoy watching my major mom skills from the younger years blossom! Pat yourself on the back Momma! When you finally get to see them handle and do things on their own, it’s just pure joy!
Communication
You’ve spent all the previous years teaching your babies how to communicate their feelings. Now they can actually use what you’ve taught them. I am so proud of how my sons can have conversation with myself and others.
Love
Don’t get me wrong, many times you have to drag it out of them, but when you do, you will want to set up shop in the pre teen years and stay there. Because they are going through so much change emotionally and physically, when there is a moment for them to just let you love them, it’s better than ever. There’s nothing like helping your son get through something that hurts their feelings or seems difficult. This is where nurturing and compassion take over. One day, I’ll see my sons, as men who are able to do the same for others and that is golden!
If you’re in the middle of the war zone, also known as the pre teen years, know that every battle is worth it. It’s a time that becomes a perfect mixture childhood and young adulthood. Boys still need to know that it’s ok for them to feel all these feelings, grow, change, and still need the unique love of their mothers. We didn’t birth them for nothing! Hang in there, out in the wild, with your pre teen son. There’s so much to love!
