Caring For An Elderly Parent Who Lives In A Different State
I grew up in Dallas, Texas, and I have called Louisiana my home for the past 17 years. Acadiana is where I have been able to create a beautiful life for myself: this is where I met my husband, and this is where I gave birth to our beautiful daughter. We bought our house here, and my husband has a good job with an awesome boss. Going along in these past 17 years has been wonderful, and being away from my family and my mother wasn’t really a thing until a couple of years ago.
My mother’s health began declining when she was diagnosed with Advance Heart Failure.
We have gone on holiday and spent time throughout these years, but it wasn’t until my mom started having Advance Heart Failure that the impact of being away, and being away with a toddler, became an issue. Everyone chooses their own path in life, and my path led me right down into Cajun Country where we have roots planted. We have our church and friends, and my daughter has school and her tumble and cheer along with soccer. It isn’t so easy to just pick up and leave now like it was before.
In February, my mother had Aortic Vale Repair, and since she lives alone and has few family members left that can help her during this time, and I am her oldest child and her daughter, I made the trip with my toddler in tow to be there for my mother as I have been over the course of these past few difficult years. In my favor, a little over a year ago, I was able to get my mother a caregiver which is such an awesome blessing. This caregiver has become like family and really is like a sister to me. It helps knowing that my mother has someone who takes care of her and sees to her needs at least five days a week, which in turn gives me a great piece of mind. The question you may ask is why isn’t she here with me? Well, that is the million-dollar question! My mother is 75 years old, and Dallas is her home, and no matter what you do or say when we get older, it seems as though we tend to get set in our ways. If you know what I mean! Actually, my mom lived here with us for 3 1/2 years, and by the grace of GOD, she was here and got to experience the first 7 months of her only grandchild’s life.
But “home” was calling her back to Dallas.
Everyone is different, and as I get older and wiser, I will always call Dallas my home of origination and I’ll always be a Texan; however, to me “home” is where the heart is, and wherever my husband and daughter are is where home is for me. So even though there are days I wish we lived closer and I could do more, I do not live with any guilt because when important issues arise, I am blessed and fortunate enough to have a loving husband who, while he misses us while we are gone, doesn’t interfere with anything that I have to do to be there for the only mom I have.
My mother and I haven’t always seen eye to eye and we haven’t always been as close as we are now, but I will continue to honor my mother. I don’t view it as a chore or obligation to care for her, but as a pleasure that is fulfilling and rewarding.
