Coffee Is Good For My Marriage

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Even before my husband and I were married, I distinctly remember a lot of people telling us to always “date your spouse.” It was a phrase I didn’t truly understand at the time and probably didn’t really get until recent years. Now two kids, careers, and a whole lot of house projects later, I can appreciate the term. But here’s the thing … I think people think a date has to be going out or doing something special and that is the farthest from the truth.

About two months after our oldest was born, we started waking up at 5am everyday. I know, sounds crazy! He was a super easy baby (don’t worry our second wasn’t as easy) and started sleeping through the night around 6 weeks, so we weren’t very sleep deprived. But most of his waking hours were spent focused on him and not each other. We realized if we woke up an hour or so before him, we could have quality alone time every day. There was no need for a sitter, spending extra money, or trying to think up a new and extravagant date.

Now don’t get me wrong, we do highly enjoy a night away from the littles doing fun things together, but dating your spouse doesn’t have to be just dates outside of your house! I’ve heard so many people say they never get to go on real dates or that they live on a budget and can’t afford it, but what they don’t realize is that there is no one definition of a date. It could be anything, and if you make the best of your situation, it truly will benefit your relationship with your spouse. 

For us, most of our dates look like us waking up around 5am, hubby fixes us each a cup of joe, and then watching the news and talking. Sometimes it is funny stories talking, sometimes it is deep goals and dreams talking, and sometimes there is no talking at all. It seems so simple and maybe even silly, but actually calling our mornings together dates and being intentional with our alone time has benefited our marriage in so many ways. We both look forward to starting our day together, we “almost” always leave the house happy and energized for the day ahead, and we always feel a little bit closer than we were the day before. 

I write this post not to tell you to wake up at 5am and sip coffee with your spouse (even though I highly suggest it!). I write this to challenge you to look at your daily schedule and find an opportunity to regularly spend quality time with your spouse. Maybe you are night owls and your dates look like staying up late watching tv or playing games together. Whatever works for your marriage is what you should do, but just do something! Prioritize your marriage, and you will see your relationship grow stronger, deeper, and happier than you could ever imagine!

So are you up for the challenge?? We would love to see how you date your spouse! Use our hashtag #LAFMBDateYourSpouse on social media. Who knows? We may just choose your photo to feature on our own social media from time to time!

Malary lives in the outskirts of Lafayette with her high school sweet heart, James. They have known each other since kindergarten and have grown from sandbox sweethearts to life long soul-mates. She and her husband have three children Cooper, Harper and Evangeline. She graduated from the University of Louisiana at Lafayette with a degree in elementary education and is currently a 4th grade teacher. She loves spending her days teaching 8 year olds how to multiply and divide and her summers pretending to be a stay at home mama to her littles. She and her husband recently bought an older home and spend their free time pretending to be Chip and Joanna renovating their first fixer upper! When she is not teaching, wrangling toddlers, or painting all things white she enjoys solo target trips, coffee, and is currently teaching herself how to sew!


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