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Even before my husband and I were married, I distinctly remember a lot of people telling us to always “date your spouse.” It was a phrase I didn’t truly understand at the time and probably didn’t really get until recent years. Now two kids, careers, and a whole lot of house projects later, I can appreciate the term. But here’s the thing … I think people think a date has to be going out or doing something special and that is the farthest from the truth.
About two months after our oldest was born, we started waking up at 5am everyday. I know, sounds crazy! He was a super easy baby (don’t worry our second wasn’t as easy) and started sleeping through the night around 6 weeks, so we weren’t very sleep deprived. But most of his waking hours were spent focused on him and not each other. We realized if we woke up an hour or so before him, we could have quality alone time every day. There was no need for a sitter, spending extra money, or trying to think up a new and extravagant date.
Now don’t get me wrong, we do highly enjoy a night away from the littles doing fun things together, but dating your spouse doesn’t have to be just dates outside of your house! I’ve heard so many people say they never get to go on real dates or that they live on a budget and can’t afford it, but what they don’t realize is that there is no one definition of a date. It could be anything, and if you make the best of your situation, it truly will benefit your relationship with your spouse.
For us, most of our dates look like us waking up around 5am, hubby fixes us each a cup of joe, and then watching the news and talking. Sometimes it is funny stories talking, sometimes it is deep goals and dreams talking, and sometimes there is no talking at all. It seems so simple and maybe even silly, but actually calling our mornings together dates and being intentional with our alone time has benefited our marriage in so many ways. We both look forward to starting our day together, we “almost” always leave the house happy and energized for the day ahead, and we always feel a little bit closer than we were the day before.
I write this post not to tell you to wake up at 5am and sip coffee with your spouse (even though I highly suggest it!). I write this to challenge you to look at your daily schedule and find an opportunity to regularly spend quality time with your spouse. Maybe you are night owls and your dates look like staying up late watching tv or playing games together. Whatever works for your marriage is what you should do, but just do something! Prioritize your marriage, and you will see your relationship grow stronger, deeper, and happier than you could ever imagine!
