Love the One You’re With :: How to Enjoy Each Child Individually

Kids can be overwhelming, all consuming, and sometimes we just need a small break from it all. Actually, sometimes we cannot get a break from it all, but we can get a small break from “some of it.” This weekend I got that break; I had the pleasure of spending the weekend with just my daughter and it was absolutely lovely. My husband took our son to the camp with him for a weekend full of boy stuff. As the kids get older, this is becoming a new reality for us and it really makes for some special quality time. The time that I spend with them individually reminds me how easy it was when you just have one child, and for us that time was short lived as I got pregnant with my daughter when my son was 8 months old. And I don’t necessarily mean easy in the sense of making my life easier, but easier to enjoy each second of time spent with them.

Love the One You’re With

Yes, we left the house on time and got through each day without whining, crying, and screaming. That. Was. Amazing. But I was not being pulled in a million different directions at once and was able to focus my attention fully on her; this is what made it “easy.” It was easy to be a mom and a mom that I was proud of. We did things and had conversations that never would have happened if big brother were in tow. I know this is not a reality all of the time, but it has brought to my attention that I really need to have individual time with both of my children, and not just when I need a break. I think this is on my mind right now as we prepare our minds, house, and family for a third child.

Mom Guilt is a Real Thing

I really feel guilty. Guilty that I wanted to have another baby and have a bigger family. Guilty that my oldest and youngest child will be 6 years apart and may not share the same bond that my first two children have. Guilty that I chose to add another child to the family, worried that this will take time away from the children that I currently cannot always find time for. Mom guilt is a real thing … But one thing I have learned as a mom is that we evolve and adapt to any situation we are put in, and I am sure that our family will transition into a family of five with plenty of time spent together.

Bottom line is that as we grow as parents, our priorities shift; this may be out of necessity but nonetheless they shift. We will always find time and energy to put into each of our kids. I just want to make sure that I remember to take a step back and enjoy each of our children and acknowledge what it is that I love about them. I want to celebrate what makes them different from their siblings and what makes us a family.

Lauren James
Lauren is a native New Orleanian that was transplanted to Lafayette in 2008 by her husband of 11 years, Daniel. She has a B.S.N. from Louisiana State University – School of Nursing and a M.S.N. from the University of South Alabama. Her “paying gig” is as a Nurse Practitioner with a focus in Quality/Infection Prevention at a local hospital. Her other full-time gig is as keeper of her home and mom to William 7, Mary Kathryn 6, and Benjamine 2. Most of her days at home are spent picking up toys and socks off the floor so the family Bernese Mountain Dog, Tipper, does not demolish them. When she has a spare moment, she enjoys reading crime novels, playing board game with her kids, cooking and baking foods that are not on her diet, and finding any reason to celebrate by drinking her beloved champagne. To burn off a few calories and any leftover energy, the family enjoys walking or riding bikes on the shaded boulevard on which they live. Lauren has fallen in love with the people and city of Lafayette and is very proud to raise her family here and to now call it home.


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