God’s plan is perfect.
We loved you before we knew or met you. I always knew and trusted God would make me a mama. I never questioned that. We prayed, waited, suffered loss, lived, had fun, bought houses, laughed, cried, and prayed some more. Evie, when we learned we were going to have you and you would be ours, we were overjoyed and grateful. You were celebrated and loved long before you were here.
Upon your arrival, all was right in the world. My doctor (who was and still is an angel on Earth) guided you into the world and our arms. Protecting and loving you have been and will continue to be our greatest honor. You hardly cried. You didn’t sleep through the night for what seemed like forever at the time. I took particular joy in swaddling you which you seemed to love. You play hard. You are still learning to share your Gam. You love your people – hard. You take exceptional care of your babies.
Tomorrow you start preschool. You have your nap mat and blankie picked out and ready to go. You said you are ready for school which isn’t surprising. You have always been ready and eager to take on new challenges. Our hearts are full. We also feel you are ready and we pray that we will know if you are not. You promised you won’t cry. You picked out Sesame street pjs tonight to wear to bed. You seem bigger and more brave. I am so sad tonight – not because I’m not ready. I prayed hard for this. I am ready and that makes me incredibly sad. I realize that it is because I am most afraid of you losing your innocence and hoping your teachers and everyone around you see your incredible heart.
Well sis, it’s way past bedtime and I wrote this because I couldn’t sleep. I’ll rock and hold you a little longer. Remember what we’ve practiced. “Hi, I’m Evangeline. Wanna play with me or be my friend?” Good night sweet girl, I can’t wait to hear all about your day.
