One Size Parenting Doesn’t Fit All
Let’s get one thing straight, parenting is hard! Someone once described it to me as the most beautiful headache you’d ever experience, they were 100% right. Since my children were a little under one I knew they were destined to be two very different little people. My son has always been super active, while my daughter has always been more reserved. I knew on some level that I’d have to do things differently with them; but I had no idea I’d have to parent them almost completely differently. What works with one rarely works with the other.
I’ve had to learn two completely different parenting styles in one household, it’s been challenging to say the least.
I’ve said many times that I save my son’s (he is 9) life several times a day and that statement holds true to this date. That dude lives a carefree life and I absolutely love that for him, it’s how I wish I were as a kid. However, his carefreeness and lack of awareness often gets him into situations that me and my husband have to correct him about. The most effective way to correct him is to take away his things and speak to him directly. Speaking to him directly helps him to focus on what we expect of him; that direct eye contact is needed for him to truly receive what we are saying. He loves his gadgets so taking anything away from him is our go to for extreme measures. If we take anything away he knows his behavior was incredibly unacceptable and will not be tolerated. These two methods have been pretty successful thus far.
My daughter loves to follow the rules and is a bit shy until she gets to know you. To be honest, she is easy until she isn’t! While she does listen 99% of the time, that other 1% she is stubborn and does not budge. Taking something from her doesn’t bother her, she honestly looks at you like she is saying, “yeah, so, and”. I could scream, but I don’t because I’ve learned that doesn’t work with her either. My husband has learned, God bless his patience y’all because I didn’t know how I was going to make it, sitting with her alone and talking it out works. Now these talks can take upwards of 20-30 minutes but it works. I’ve learned that giving her a hug after those talks helps too.
It took us some time to learn what works for our children.
We made a lot of mistakes, I know I sure did. Taking a step back, acknowledging that something wasn’t working, and figuring out what worked best for our children is what mattered most and still does. Now, things are ever evolving and I’m sure we’ll have to change how we do things several times as they get older, but we are up for the challenge. We’re trying to raise happy, healthy children. That may require us to learn new skills and do some research but our kids are worth it.