Already Made Family
I believe change is hard, especially when you’re not ready for it. The terms “Already Made Family” or “Blended Family” takes on overwhelming task of getting to know each family member that is going to be involved. From personal experience, I don’t think I was ready for the idea of having a “Blended Family” or have someone come into my “Already Made Family.”
Let me share a piece, a nugget story, as my mom would say “let me drop a nugget in your ear, young lady.” I love my momma, she is an awesome woman, but most of the time she is hard on herself. I guess she wouldn’t be who she is if she wasn’t. Well, y’all here it goes.
I have dated men in the past who said they are willing to accept my children and I as a “package deal;” they turned out to be a lying sack of horse dung. See, I have two children, with two different fathers. Needless, to say my plate is full. Mikayla is my beautifully outspoken, Anime loving, 90’s inspired fashionista. On the other hand, Mason is my handsome huggable teddy bear, dimpled faced football player. Each child comes from different family backgrounds. So, part of my criteria when talking to someone is to make sure they understand what they are stepping into when they want to pursue me as their “old lady” or “girlfriend.” I also have been raising Mikayla by myself since she was taking backflips in mommies’ tummy. Mason currently lives with his father, but I can see him when his dad isn’t busy.
As you can see, I have to set mental expectations for myself as a single mother and boundaries as a resilient independent woman.
Since I have built this bubble of how I want my family to be, I am not going to lie, it’s hard for someone else to come into that bubble. This bubble is my “Already Made Family.” Remember those “mental expectations” I was telling y’all about? It can turn out to be deception on the other person’s part. Yes, I allowed it, but it was agreed to join my “Already Made Family.” I shouldn’t have to adjust, right?
Y’all, tell me what do y’all think? Have y’all encountered being the “Already Made Family?”