My Child Is Moving Out … And I’m Not Okay

My Child Is Moving Out… And I’m Not Okay

My oldest child just spent her last night at home. She’s moving out to pursue a higher education. We’ve been preparing for this day for quite a while. We’ve gathered furniture, utensils, and decorations. We’ve found an apartment. We’ve called to connect utilities. We’ve booked and loaded a U-Haul. We’ve done all the thing necessary for her to move. We are ready. She is ready.

So why am I taking this so hard?

I’m staring at a loaded truck and an empty bedroom, and I’m doing it in tears. Admittedly, I was young when I had her, so I’m doing this at a younger age than most people have to do it. But even so, I thought I was prepared. I thought it would be smooth sailing. I told myself that I still have four more children at home, and it wouldn’t be that different. I was very wrong.

Over the last year or so, her senior year of high school, our relationship has transitioned some. She is still my daughter, but she’s become like a friend to me – a very honest, broke friend. I’m going to miss her presence. I’ll miss our conversations. I’m going to miss shopping and people-watching with her. I’ll miss hearing about her day every day. I know she will call. I know we will still talk, and I know she will visit. I also know those conversations won’t happen as often. I know she will get busy and visit less and less.

I thought this would only be hard because, as moms do, I would worry about her all the time. 

My Child Is Moving Out… And I’m Not OkayHowever, that’s not it. At least not right now. I know my daughter is strong and resilient, and I know she will not only survive, but she will thrive. I don’t have to worry about her going to class or work. I won’t worry about her taking care of business as needed. I don’t need to worry about her making friends or making college the best years of her life. I don’t even need to worry about her needing to come back home. She’s smart and independent. She’s got this. I don’t.

I know it will get easier in time. I will enjoy seeing her so happy and having so much fun. I will enjoy it from a distance. And for now, that will have to be enough.

1 COMMENT

  1. That was very interesting. I knew you were taking all this a little too lightly. I’ve been there done this and I haven’t forgotten all the tears and
    Missing my daughter so much.we had other children also but when one is gone, it’s just so different. Your Mom left before but she was married and I knew we’d have a grand baby soon. That baby was you!

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