My Child Is Moving Out… And I’m Not Okay
My oldest child just spent her last night at home. She’s moving out to pursue a higher education. We’ve been preparing for this day for quite a while. We’ve gathered furniture, utensils, and decorations. We’ve found an apartment. We’ve called to connect utilities. We’ve booked and loaded a U-Haul. We’ve done all the thing necessary for her to move. We are ready. She is ready.
So why am I taking this so hard?
I’m staring at a loaded truck and an empty bedroom, and I’m doing it in tears. Admittedly, I was young when I had her, so I’m doing this at a younger age than most people have to do it. But even so, I thought I was prepared. I thought it would be smooth sailing. I told myself that I still have four more children at home, and it wouldn’t be that different. I was very wrong.
Over the last year or so, her senior year of high school, our relationship has transitioned some. She is still my daughter, but she’s become like a friend to me – a very honest, broke friend. I’m going to miss her presence. I’ll miss our conversations. I’m going to miss shopping and people-watching with her. I’ll miss hearing about her day every day. I know she will call. I know we will still talk, and I know she will visit. I also know those conversations won’t happen as often. I know she will get busy and visit less and less.
I thought this would only be hard because, as moms do, I would worry about her all the time.
However, that’s not it. At least not right now. I know my daughter is strong and resilient, and I know she will not only survive, but she will thrive. I don’t have to worry about her going to class or work. I won’t worry about her taking care of business as needed. I don’t need to worry about her making friends or making college the best years of her life. I don’t even need to worry about her needing to come back home. She’s smart and independent. She’s got this. I don’t.
I know it will get easier in time. I will enjoy seeing her so happy and having so much fun. I will enjoy it from a distance. And for now, that will have to be enough.