Tooth Fairy Troubles

I have it on good authority that the Tooth Fairy is the anxious sort … a lot of job-related stress, I would imagine. Think about it, Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the other magical overnight visitors only have to get geared up for one night a year; not the Tooth Fairy. Every house with a kid between the ages of 5-10 has a chance to get a tooth fairy visit on any given night. Plus, most houses have siblings … so the odds multiply. I’m sure she feels like she works all the time!

And it’s more than just the frequency of the visits … Santa & Co. drop their goodies in our living room, eat a snack and are out the door. The Tooth Fairy delivers to the sacred space UNDER THE PILLOW OF A SLEEPING CHILD. I’m not saying I’ve seen this or anything, but I just imagine her army crawling across their bedroom floor, in stealth mode out of fear of being seen. Then hiding under furniture, stretching her limbs as far as they’ll go, praying she doesn’t make a sound. It makes me sweat just thinking about all that she goes through, quite honestly. She doesn’t just have to leave something, she has to take something too … she has to take the tooth. Imagine the despair if a child found a forgotten tooth? That does not seem like that would be easy to bounce back from. It would definitely require quick thinking and cat-like reflexes. I mean … I’m assuming so. 

She’s probably an organized fairy, to, the kind with to-do lists and traveling plans.

But since there’s no ‘set time’ for teeth to fall out, she’s basically on call 24/7/365. Once, my daughter lost a tooth in her bed at 10pm! You read that right, she was already asleep, woke up, pulled a tooth and BAM, curveball for the Tooth Fairy. I’m sure she had a busy night, a lot of visits to make, with a strategically mapped out schedule. Or, who knows, maybe she thought she had a night off so went to bed early then had to stumble out to deliver the precious coins that come to my kiddos. Which brings me to my next point … kudos to her for always having cash, or coins. I mean I don’t know about you but I NEVER carry cash, so if I had to hand some out without warning, hypothetically speaking, of course, I might be in a bind. 

You might be wondering why I keep referring to the Tooth Fairy as ‘she.’ Well, my daughter, in all of her cleverness surprised the Tooth Fairy with a note one night and a litany of questions that needed answering. So, of course the Tooth Fairy, being the kind soul that she is, answered … you should’ve seen the itty-bitty piece of paper she scribbled her answers on. It was barely legible! My hand cramped a little just looking at it … but I guess hers is small enough for that to have been a comfortable size. For the record, I wouldn’t recommend anyone suggest that their kids leave the Tooth Fairy a note … if yours is anything like mine, she’s busy! Not to mention there are so many teeth that fall out for each kid, so if your kiddos happen to get in to the habit of leaving notes for each tooth … in my case, times three kids?!? She would have to quit her day job just to keep up!

There’s also a wide range of expected compensation for teeth, depending on the house.

And I’m sure she gets a little fuzzy sometimes, trying to remember even the same house how much the older siblings got so as to make sure the younger ones get a similar amount. Yes, she is undoubtedly fair, just maybe a little frazzled. 

Get this, on more than one occasion, one of my kiddos lost a tooth the SAME NIGHT that the Easter Bunny or Santa Clause visited. What are the odds, right? They must’ve been excited to bump into each other while leaving multiple gifts for my children to discover. I mean … what. a. fun. night.

So, I think we should all cut her some slack. She’s probably tired and needs a vacation … or at least another glass of wine. Ohhhh, maybe we could start leaving her wine and chocolate, just like Santa’s milk and cookies … I’m in.

#TeamToothFairy … Who’s with me?

Jenny Prevost
Jenny Prevost is an aspiring author, french fry fanatic + founder of www.betherebox.com, a giftbox company geared for the tough stuff in life. In a very small town way, she fell hard for the boy who grew up one street over + married him. She is now Momma to three lovable kiddos (and one lively lab) + can be found her in her garden or playing outside. She has a passion for creative living + whole heartedly believes Brene Brown when she says, “The magic is in the mess.”

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