6 Things About Growing Children That Nobody Talks About
It happens to everyone, right? Our kids grow up. I thought I mostly knew what to expect since I am the oldest in a very large but tight-knit family. I’ve watched many children grown up.
Here’s what I didn’t expect:
The relationship changes.
Obviously, when your child becomes an adult and moves out on their own, your relationship changes. What I didn’t realize is that it actually changes many times as they grow up. As they become older, your role as parent changes. How exactly depends on your child. With mine, along with their independence came a level of maturity that I didn’t expect.
The worry changes.
You go from, “Is my child meeting their milestones?” to “Is my child making the right decisions?” They start driving. They get on social media. They get jobs. There is so much pressure around them all the time to make poor decisions. I began worrying about my child’s future in a very different way.
They stay on your “payroll” for a while.
I didn’t think that my children would move out and be completely independent. But I also didn’t expect them to depend on me for everything anymore. They do. They may pay their own rent, but they call me to help meet utility bills. I still pay car notes and insurance. I pay for medications and doctors. I don’t mind, but hopefully they will be able to support themselves soon.
Everything goes missing.
When my child visits, she leaves with arms full. She must bring those things to a black hole because I never see them again. She leaves with shoes, tools, groceries, silverware, Tupperware, small appliances… anything she needs at the moment and can carry, leaves with her.
Gifting changes.
I used to buy my kids fun gifts that they asked for. Now, birthday and Christmas gifts are practical. I’ve bought grocery and gas gift cards. I’ve purchased cleaning supplies. I’ve given pet supplies. The excitement on their faces to receive these types of gifts was nothing I ever expected. I didn’t think practical gifts would ever make them so happy.
They will ALWAYS need you.
They will always need a place to land and a soft place to lay their heads when things get rough. They will always need someone to talk to (although those conversations change in nature). They will always need a homecooked meal.
