Being Fat Is NOT Contiguous
Growing up, I wasn’t overweight. As a matter of fact, I was “too skinny” as my family so kindly liked to tell my mother. As I got older, in my teens I began to fill out and my body became more defined. I was now an athletic type build. I played volleyball. I ran track. I was in the marching band. I literally ate Doritos and Dr.Pepper for breakfast before practice and never gained an ounce. I actually never thought about my weight and it never thought about me.
It wasn’t until I hit my forties and what I know now to be peri- menopause that things changed.
At this point, I was still childless and didn’t know if I was peri-menopausal, but my weight began to fluctuate. It wasn’t dramatic, it was just noticeable. I no longer ate Doritos and drank Dr. Pepper for breakfast without a care in the world. As I was growing up, I wasn’t one of the most popular; however, I was among the popular crowd, yet I was never a mean girl or one who would exclude someone from being my friend based on their looks. I’ve always been friends with everyone. So to my dismay, it wasn’t until I got over 200 pounds that I noticed how people treated me – not so much in a bad way but as if talking to me at my heaviest weight was contagious.
I am a very confident person inside and out. Actually, it doesn’t bother me because I know you can lose weight but you can’t lose ugly or stupid. I am beautiful and I am intelligent. Therefore, my weight doesn’t define me. However, it has made me look back and wonder about all the people who have struggled with their weight their whole lives. How that has possibly had a profound effect on them and for that I am deeply saddened. In our society, we are driven to be perfect: to be healthy, to be beautiful. We are not taught to just be whom God created.
I am now at my heaviest weight ever.
I weigh 275 pounds and I stand at 5’7 which gives me a bit of an advantage yet, I am still very fluffy. I have recently lost 33 pounds and then gained back 20. As of today, I’ve lost another 14 pounds. So my current weight is 249. I have never experienced such a problem with my weight and it is difficult at times. But I know who I am inside. Therefore I get up every day, squeeze into those jeans, and walk proudly throughout my day.
Giving birth to my miracle baby at the beautiful age of 49 was absolutely amazing. I gained 50 pounds and only lost 30 of the 50 I gained. My body wasn’t a priority. My long awaited newborn little human was my number one priority and I became a stay at home mom. I enjoyed every single bit of my pregnancy and every bit of being a first time mother. It wasn’t until my daughter began Pre-K (and now Kindergarten) that I became active again in society.
I have begun to notice that people (mainly women) do not tend to engage with me as much as I am accustomed to. I didn’t really start to notice it until we started attending a variety of events with other children and their “moms.” Here I am (all of me) and my huge personality talking away with whomever and it seems as though the ones that will engage in length are those that are on the heavier side and for that I say shame on you. If you are a girl mom, double shame on you.
Our children, especially our girls, do not need to be valued by their looks alone it should be a combination of everything that they are.
I am a girl mom and of course, I do not wish for my daughter to struggle with her weight. To be shamed by the “mean girl” society. However, if she does become overweight, I have and I am continually instilling into her that she is beautiful, she is intelligent and there is nothing she can not do through Christ that strengthens her. I am instilling into her love and confidence, warmth and affection, that no matter what weight she is at that she will love herself regardless of her outer appearance.
We need to do better. Love one another for whomever they are no matter their physical appearance, intellect, economic status, race, or religion. Just love!! You do not have to be everyone’s friend or even close acquaintance, yet when in their presence, make them feel comfortable. Make them feel accepted. Don’t brush them off as if they have a plague that you could catch. For you never know that same person you might need someday. Just know your children are watching everything you do and say; therefore, show them how not to be. Show them to love one another, to be kind and not to make another person feel as if they have a disease. The person already knows their struggles. It is our job to make them feel, even if it’s for a brief conversation, that they matter. That they are important and what they are saying is valid. Do not define them with your actions or with your words.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful. it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
This is my favorite verse and I truly live by it. Love is what has kept me alive. It is what gets me through each and every day. It is what can help me overlook those who are not so kind to me and to others.
