The Non-Negotiables

The Non-Negotiables

As women, we often wear many hats – wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, co-worker. By nature, we are prone to take on more and more and excel at everything we do. We constantly pour and give to the ones we love and those that rely on us. Often times at our own expense. While setting boundaries and learning how to say no all sound great in theory, it’s often extremely hard to do for fear of letting someone down. When we do that, we unknowingly let ourselves down. If I am being honest, I rarely feel bad when I let myself down. But the guilt I feel when I let others down is unmatched. Why is that? I recently heard a podcast that suggested that you should set daily non-negotiables for yourself. Things that you do for yourself on a daily basis no matter what. These tasks should benefit you mentally, physically, and spiritually.

The Mental Non-Negotiable

The Non-Negotiables

I am sure that I can speak for most of you when I say that your mind is always going one thousand miles a minute, and sometimes it is a struggle to keep track of everything for yourself as well as your family. Taking a moment to sit and get it all out and quiet your brain is a necessary non-negotiable. Therapy is great, but not always something that can be done daily. Journaling is a great way to get it all out. Take a moment to sit with your thoughts and do a brain dump, just get it out on paper. I am a huge fan of to-do lists when life gets especially busy. It helps me keep track of what I need to do, so nothing slips through the cracks. And when I look back at that list, I feel a sense of accomplishment for getting it all done. My mental non-negotiable is quiet time. I am an introverted person. I crave silence. I work in an office with other people, my family is anything but quiet, so it can be a struggle to get a moment of silence to myself. I have learned to carve out moments of silence. When I am in the car alone, I rarely play music. I wake up before everyone in my house, after I get lunches fixed and clothes laid out, I take a moment and I just sit … It is a great way to start my day with a clear mind and knowing that I did something for myself for the day.

The Physical Non-Negotiable

The Non-Negotiables

The physical non-negotiable may be the hardest. Because this is the one that requires you to be intentional. It requires you to carve out time for you and only you. This could be a workout, following a specific diet, a vitamin or skin care regimen, or your daily grooming habits. For me, this one is the most important. In the last year, I have made my health a top priority, so eating healthy and daily physical activity is a must. I also live for my morning shower time. This is how I start my day and it energizes me. Take time and find something that works for you and your lifestyle. Taking care of your physical self is a gift for yourself and your family.

The Spiritual Non-Negotiable

The Non-Negotiables

It is imperative that you take care of your spiritual self. The world we live in is sin sick and we are under attack daily. As mothers we need to safeguard our families against the evils of the world. Taking time out to read a daily devotional or meditate can really shift your mindset. It can put you in a positive and uplifting state of mind and that then spills out to your family and kids.

I get that taking time out for yourself can be hard, but as the old saying goes, you cannot pour from an empty cup.

You must constantly fill yourself to pour into all of the other cups in your life. These non-negotiables are different from self-care days, this is a daily practice of making yourself a priority. I urge you to try to add at least one of these into your life and as you master that one, add another. Remember it is ok to take the cape off and put yourself first!

Torilyn Williams
Torilyn Williams is a Louisiana native, born and raised in New Orleans. She moved to Lafayette to attend UL Lafayette, where she graduated with a Bachelor’s in Applied Life Sciences. Tori is blessed to be the wife of her ambitious and hardworking husband, Damian. The devoted mom of Tatum Marie (6) and Aubrey Malia (5) and bonus mom to Damian Jr. (20). Tori has been working in the banking industry for over fifteen years. She is a member of Junior League Lafayette. Tori has a heart for volunteerism, she loves to give back to the community and mentor the youth. Tori is a die-hard New Orleans Saints fan. She is also a self-proclaimed foodie that loves to chronicle her food adventures on Instagram (@Dashofwilliams). Outside of work you can find Tori spending time with family and friends, traveling, trying new recipes, and working out. Tori is always down for a good meal with family or a shopping trip!


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