The Stop Doing List

The Stop Doing List

I was mindlessly scrolling on Facebook and I saw this meme that said, ‘sometimes you need a stop doing list as badly as you need a to do list.’ It hit me like a ton of bricks. A ton, I tell you! As the new year approaches, maybe this is something we should implement rather than a resolution. If I am being honest, you need to start this today; there is no need to wait for a new year to better your life.

The Stop Doing ListAs I was thinking about what should go on the stop doing list, all kinds of shallow superficial things popped in my mind. But when I really thought about it, I came to the conclusion that it needed to do something to make me a better woman.

So here I am being transparent, sharing some things that I placed on my stop doing list. I am sure many of you can relate.

Stop Negative Self-Talk

I can honestly say that I am my own worst critic. I can easily rattle off a list of my short comings way faster than I can tell you what is so great about me. And trust me, I am a pretty cool human. I know that I am not alone in this toxic trait. Why do we do that to ourselves? There isn’t enough time to completely unpack that answer, but I know that it needs to stop. In order to stop the negative self-talk, we must start positive self-talk. Whether that means reciting daily affirmations, posting positive memes or quotes that resonate with you on your social media, do whatever it takes. Another way to end negative self-talk is to learn how to accept a compliment. When someone compliments your hair, simply say ‘Thanks,’ not ‘oh it’s a mess, I haven’t washed it in days.’ I must admit that I am horrible at this, but I have been working on it for a few months now and it is honestly not as hard as it seems. When you accept that compliment, sit in it and reflect on the idea that the world sees you better than you see yourself. When you do that, it quiets that negative voice and builds your confidence. Once you realize that you are that chick, you will be unstoppable!

Stop People Pleasing

Listen! Stop this immediately! Now, I don’t mean your immediately family or your circle. I am referring to those that you only hear from when they need something. Those that are not around when you need help. They don’t deserve your energy. The easiest yet hardest thing to do this is to say no. No. It’s a whole sentence. It is so easy to say. What is not easy is the guilt that follows it. But when you know that you are saying it in order to protect you or your family’s peace, it’s a no brainer. People pleasing is so draining. The time spent trying to gain acceptance or make others happy, can be used on bettering yourself or spent with those who truly matter and impact your life.

Stop Placing Limits on Yourself

This goes back to the negative self-talk. Stop telling yourself what you can’t do and start telling yourself that you are capable of anything. And believe it, because you are! Often times, as moms, we put ourselves on the back burner. This also includes our dreams and goals. When the time finally comes for us to focus on ourselves, we have a million excuses of why those dreams and goals are unattainable. But are they really? Or did you just talk yourself out of them? Go back and get the degree, train for the marathon, start the business. Believe in yourself. Your kids need to see you go after your dreams. It teaches them to be bold in chasing their dreams, it shows them that delay is not denial, and it shows them that hard work and sacrifice yield great rewards. And if by chance you don’t achieve the goal, you can rest in the fact that you tried and learned lessons along the way. Remember, failure is one of the best teachers you will ever have. Release those limits and fly.

The new year will be here before you know it, and so many will be on the new year, new me kick.

How about you make your stop doing list and get on the new year, better me kick. We should always strive to be the best version of ourselves at all times. So, in 2024, here’s to being the best yet!

Torilyn Williams
Torilyn Williams is a Louisiana native, born and raised in New Orleans. She moved to Lafayette to attend UL Lafayette, where she graduated with a Bachelor’s in Applied Life Sciences. Tori is blessed to be the wife of her ambitious and hardworking husband, Damian. The devoted mom of Tatum Marie (6) and Aubrey Malia (5) and bonus mom to Damian Jr. (20). Tori has been working in the banking industry for over fifteen years. She is a member of Junior League Lafayette. Tori has a heart for volunteerism, she loves to give back to the community and mentor the youth. Tori is a die-hard New Orleans Saints fan. She is also a self-proclaimed foodie that loves to chronicle her food adventures on Instagram (@Dashofwilliams). Outside of work you can find Tori spending time with family and friends, traveling, trying new recipes, and working out. Tori is always down for a good meal with family or a shopping trip!


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