The Stop Doing List

As I was thinking about what should go on the stop doing list, all kinds of shallow superficial things popped in my mind. But when I really thought about it, I came to the conclusion that it needed to do something to make me a better woman.

I can honestly say that I am my own worst critic. I can easily rattle off a list of my short comings way faster than I can tell you what is so great about me. And trust me, I am a pretty cool human. I know that I am not alone in this toxic trait. Why do we do that to ourselves? There isn’t enough time to completely unpack that answer, but I know that it needs to stop. In order to stop the negative self-talk, we must start positive self-talk. Whether that means reciting daily affirmations, posting positive memes or quotes that resonate with you on your social media, do whatever it takes. Another way to end negative self-talk is to learn how to accept a compliment. When someone compliments your hair, simply say ‘Thanks,’ not ‘oh it’s a mess, I haven’t washed it in days.’ I must admit that I am horrible at this, but I have been working on it for a few months now and it is honestly not as hard as it seems. When you accept that compliment, sit in it and reflect on the idea that the world sees you better than you see yourself. When you do that, it quiets that negative voice and builds your confidence. Once you realize that you are that chick, you will be unstoppable!

Listen! Stop this immediately! Now, I don’t mean your immediately family or your circle. I am referring to those that you only hear from when they need something. Those that are not around when you need help. They don’t deserve your energy. The easiest yet hardest thing to do this is to say no. No. It’s a whole sentence. It is so easy to say. What is not easy is the guilt that follows it. But when you know that you are saying it in order to protect you or your family’s peace, it’s a no brainer. People pleasing is so draining. The time spent trying to gain acceptance or make others happy, can be used on bettering yourself or spent with those who truly matter and impact your life.

This goes back to the negative self-talk. Stop telling yourself what you can’t do and start telling yourself that you are capable of anything. And believe it, because you are! Often times, as moms, we put ourselves on the back burner. This also includes our dreams and goals. When the time finally comes for us to focus on ourselves, we have a million excuses of why those dreams and goals are unattainable. But are they really? Or did you just talk yourself out of them? Go back and get the degree, train for the marathon, start the business. Believe in yourself. Your kids need to see you go after your dreams. It teaches them to be bold in chasing their dreams, it shows them that delay is not denial, and it shows them that hard work and sacrifice yield great rewards. And if by chance you don’t achieve the goal, you can rest in the fact that you tried and learned lessons along the way. Remember, failure is one of the best teachers you will ever have. Release those limits and fly.