Marriage as Told Through Text Messages

My husband and I have been together for 12 years – which means a lot of text messages! In the early days, we both had flip phones so most of our texts were pretty short and to the point. Then we got iPhones and things shifted from there. We went from periodic texts to messaging each other when a thought entered our minds (ok – that was mostly me). Over time, the texting reverted back to short, no-nonsense messages. Nowadays, most of our texts are mostly about one of us heading home and the other replying “yay!”

In the early days, we still tried to be mostly nice and thorough in our messaging to one another but as time wore on, and children came, it devolved into much shorter and terse messaging.

Example from the earlier days:

This was pretty early on – see how nice I am? Who likes to step out of the shower to a wet towel? No one. But I wasn’t going to freak out on him … yet.

That came a few years later:

Yeah. It’s been YEARS and he is still using my towel. I have threatened to label towels and sometimes, I’m not proud to admit, I hide mine. But really now … WHY is he using my towel? In all the years we have been together, he cannot seem to explain it.

The underwear I get. This seems to be a pervasive male issue. Clothes come off and they land where they land and that’s that. While it annoys me, I can overlook it for the most part.


Texting is great for airing grievances but now it’s also really easy to share pretty much all of our thoughts and feelings right when we have them.

Like when we see something at Target that we cannot live without:

I’m happy to report he did not come home with a fur blanket. I have nothing against fur blankets but we have a blanket problem in our house. I personally have 4 blankets that are designated just for me. We do NOT need any more blankets.

There are also times when he is joking around but after he leaves the house, I’m not entirely sure if it was a joke or if it was real and I may have to intervene before a life choice is made:

He had a root canal and had to have a crown. Update: he really wanted a gold tooth but the dentist did not offer them.

As I scrolled through our messages, I would laugh and then roll my eyes. We have had fights via text message. There are many “ARE YOU ALIVE?” texts sent by me. Several “update?” from him when I’m working late. And way too many “on my way home!” texts to count. It’s funny to see how our relationship has evolved and that we have this written documentation / timeline to look back on. In every stage of our marriage, the texting has shifted. I love how easy it is to communicate and I wonder what our texts may look like as our kids get older and we shift into another stage of life.

But I’m sure the Towel Text will live on regardless.

Laurel Hess
Laurel Hess is a mother to 2 young boys, a rescue pup, an off-balance cat and likely a few foster pups. She spends her days as President of a local marketing agency, helping craft integrated digital strategies and leading a team of creative collaborators. Once at home, however, Laurel is just trying to find peace with being the World's Okayest Mom. A Dallas transplant in a Louisiana world, Laurel graduated from Loyola University New Orleans in Broadcast Production. She met her husband while she was evacuated in Lafayette during Hurricane Katrina. They lived 5 wild, kid-free years in New Orleans while Laurel served as the Sales and Marketing Manager for the Superdome, Arena and Champions Square, before finally returning to Lafayette and into the wildest phase of life yet ... Parenthood.


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