I’ve been on Facebook longer than I’ve done anything else in my life … what a shame. Over the years, my relationship with social media has changed. We’ve made up to break up, been off and on, and have even seen other people. From completely deleting my account to vowing I wouldn’t check my notifications for one day straight, I understand it’s been toxic. Shamefully, it was used in the past as a diary and a way to prove I was just as cool as everyone else. In more recent years, it’s become a way to stay in touch with those who I don’t usually talk to with hints of random shared memes or funny statuses.
Unlike most of the world, I’ve never had more than about 400 Facebook friends and even fewer Instagram followers. I always thought it was weird to allow people I didn’t know to see my pictures, know what my family and friends look like and just overall have access to me in general. This tradition started when I first created my account in ’06 as a freshman, back when it was exclusively for college students. Since then, I only add people I know personally or professionally and most recently I’ve started to wonder why I’m even still in contact with some of them.
First of all, my family is small. Like really small. Other than my immediate family, nieces, nephews, a few distant cousins, and in-laws, everyone is literally friends. This gave me tons of room to start sweeping out those who I had no need to keep up with anymore. I left home for college at 18 and other than having to boomerang back a few short times afterward, I haven’t lived there since. So anyone from elementary, junior high, or high school – gone.
Although college was some of the very best years of my life so far, it was short-lived. Filled with unique times of fun and self-discovery, I met so many interesting people that I grew close to. Once I graduated, I kept up with almost everyone for years. It was only after a very honest therapy session, I learned that my holding on to them was dead weight and an attempt to me holding on to the past. Unless we’ve seen or talked to each other within the last few years, people I knew from college – gone.
I know for me there have been A LOT of life changes in the past 7 years. I had 3 kids, got married, and became a teacher. Before this time though, a life of sleeping 8 hours, being carefree, going to clubs and dating did actually exist. The old flings, exes, single and/or kidless friends I had back then – gone.
I’ve started applying the rule: if I wouldn’t talk to this person in public, they shouldn’t be my social media friend or follower. Tidying up my list came with its own grieving process. I first wondered if it was even necessary since I keep my personal life and innermost thoughts pretty private. I eventually realized that even though I don’t share those things, having remnants from old times and useless history in itself was pointless. It was a little sad to let them go but the reality is, I’m not even that person they probably knew anymore. I’m not the kid version of me from back home in grade school, the version of me who was learning about herself in college, or the version of me as a younger adult who was free to do whatever while still trying to figure out life.
I believe as a mature adult, it’s essential to clean, sanitize and disinfect our social media. Without it, the fear of missing out, negativity and bad news can start growing emotional bacteria and make us feel ways that we really don’t have to. It seems as if the world of networking and being involved socially through platforms is here to stay. If it is, it may as well get cleaned this spring too.
